Please love me more than I hate myself||Hyunchan ff

12

But if it won't get better, please go and see a doctor. I can't do more for you than that." she said seeming sad about the fact to be unable to help. Changbin nodded, Chan thanked her and they got out the office, to find a sleeping Hyunjin on the bed...

Changbin went over to Hyunjin and woke him up. When the youngest opened his eyes six worried eyes were looking at him.
„Ehm, sorry I must have fallen asleep." he said with a small voice. Chan had to awe at this scene, but this feeling was soon replaced with worry. Hyunjin stood up and swayed a bit, but Changbin helped him.
The three guys walked out the room. Timely for lunch break to begin. They entered the cafeteria. Chan and Changbin walked over to get themselves something to eat, Hyunjin just sat down at the table where their other friends were already eating. He grabbed his earphones and played Hollywood whore by Machine gun kelly and closed his eyes.
A sudden touch at his back scared him. He shook away and fell off his chair. Chan who had touched him tried to catch him but was too slow.
„Omg Hyunjin are you okay? I'm so so sorry!"
The rest of the friends looked at him and then the whole cafeteria did, and that was too much. He jumped up, ignoring the dizziness and started running. Not knowing wich direction.
On his way he started crying and tried to breath. But he couldn't, it was like someone was squeezing his lungs. He ended up infront of the bathroom, and burst through the door and into a stall, then he broke down. With his music still in his ears, he bit his lip so hard, that the pain brought him back into reality. He took a shaky breath and curled into a ball. He didn't felt the cold floor or the blood running down his chin, he felt nothing, and that was even scarier.

Chan was so perplex, that it took him some time to understand what just happened. Changbin had seen everything and wanted to follow Hyunjin, but Chan held him back
„It is my fault, I'm gonna search for him." and with that he left the cafeteria.
Changbin who didn't really knew what to do with himself saw the other students staring and got angry.
„WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?!" he stamped out the room, soon followed by Felix. Minho, and Han were left with Seungmin and a crying Jeongin.
„Changbin! Please wait." Felix hurried after his boyfriend worried he would do something bad.
Suddenly Changbin stopped and turned around. When he saw his sunshines expression, his face softened.
„M' sorry..." he mumbled, excepting the youngers hug.
„Changbin, you need to control yourself, Jeongin started crying."
„Shit. I'm so dumb I can't do anything right." he spun around again. The fact that Jeongin had started crying because of him, made his anger take over him. He was so disappointed in himself, that the next thing he knew, was thatFelix was holding his hand and pressed a handkerchief onto his bleeding knuckles. Then he felt a small hand on his cheek, wiping the tears, that were making their way down his face, like raindrops on a window.
„Changbin you did nothing wrong, don't blame yourself. I love you ok?"
„Thanks baby." Changbin just shrugged Felix hand off and hugged him tight.

„Hyunjin? HYUNJIN? Where are you?"
Chan was running down the halls searching the younger one. Then he stopped wasn't that a muffled cry? He turned to his side, scanning the halls. There, the bathroom. Five steps. The sound became louder. He placed his hand on door handle. He pushed it down, and the sound of Hyunjin crying and trying to breath filled his head, taking over his mind.
„Hyunjin?" he didn't want to scare the younger one. No answer. He moved to the only closed stall and opened it. He found the shadow of a broken boy, and to see that, broke something in himself. He needed to help him. If not, this fairytale was going to have a bad ending...

„Changbin? We should go let your hand get checked out by the school nurse."
Felix said pointing to the still bleeding knuckles that had turned a blue Color over the last minutes.
„Fine, but I need to check up on Jeongin and Hyunjin first."
„No Changbin, you have to care for yourself, for once in your life. Chan is with Hyunjin and Seungmin with Jeongin. You have to go the the nurse. Now!" Changbin knew Felix was right. He was good at taking care of others, but not in taking care of himself, the last weeks were hard for him. He had to arrange everything with their parents. Had to look after his brothers. But most of the time, he had to take care of his mother. She had changed over these last weeks. She carried less, yelled more, got angry easier. He made sure his brothers never saw her drinking or yelling at him. But one time he failed. That was the night he had found Hyunjin passed out on the bathroom floor. All his fault...
„Now come." Felix interrupted his thoughts, grabbed him by his hand and pulled him to the nurse.
Mr. Kim was a little bit surprised to see the boy again so soon, but she didn't say anything.
„Hello Changbin, what leads you here?" she asked in a kind tone.
„I-i kind of hurt my hand, and my boyfriend here said I should let it get checked out."
„Ok then sit down, I'll take a look." she pointed to the bed and Changbin took a seat.
She took his hand in hers and  wiped the blood away. Then she took a closer look of the swollen and bruised parts.
„So Changbin. The good news is, probably nothing is broken. But, I'll have to put a bandage over it and you have to wear it for at least two weeks. And I also want you to go to your actual doctor, so he can take an x-ray just in case."
She finished, and put a blue bandage around Changbins hand. Then the couple left, searching for Hyunjin and Jeongin...
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Hey
Guys I'm so so soooooo sorry for not uploading, I hope you can forgive me. I was sick for three weeks and when I finally could go back to school I had a lot to catch up on and yeah...
Anygays I hope you like this chapter, I'll try uploading more frequently again.
Take care:)
C🌻