raging love

Butterfly Kisses and Spring Time Wishes

I tend to hum and sing a lot when I'm doing house work or yard work. This morning was no different from any spring time day. I had my gardening knee pads on and I spent much of the morning turning the bark mulch bed along the driveway and pulling dandelions and rag weeds from the almost perfect garden. All that was missing was the girl's pansies, daffodils and marigolds. I think this year they were going to pick out some miniature rose plants too. But I took my time pulling weeds to make sure everything was perfect for Tony and the kids because I knew when they got back home from the nursery they would be wanting to place their plants where they wanted them to grow and start the planting process. I already had lunch out on the patio table waiting for them as well as our out door china set for their tea and sandwiches. Tony's man glass (mason canning jar) was ready for his arrival too, filled to the brim with ice and soda.

Almost done both sides of our drive way! I was so excited to be finished. I found myself getting quite anxious and from time to time I stopped working to lift my gardening glove off and check the time on my watch. They must of stopped to check the mail because they were late by a half hour. Nothing to worry about I kept telling myself. Our neighborhood is totally family oriented and almost a perfect place to raise a family. Every time I got up and looked around to see if our cute little car was driving down our street, a neighbor would wave and say hello. Eventually I started to worry. The lunch I set out was now getting spoiled. The ice melted and the drinks were warming under the afternoon sun. Worry started to churn in my mind and my stomach felt sick. I found my body reacting to the stress and decided to sit at the table and wait for my family to come home. I sat and sat for what seemed forever. Two hours rolled by but it felt like eternity.

And then it hit me. Waves and waves of nausea took me to a different place. I closed my eyes and wondered if I should call him. But then I noticed that his cell phone is right where he left it, on the cedar deck. He always forgets his cell phone.

I found my self frozen not knowing what to do. Eventually my worries and reality collided.

I stood up when I noticed him. A police officer was getting out of his unit car. He came with another cop, a pretty female. As soon as they were both out of the car they stood at the foot of my driveway and slowly took off their police caps.

What I noticed was how tightly they gripped the edges of their hats and how stiff their jaws were as they started to walk towards me.

I found it hard to breathe.

I seen the female cop's eyes starting to glisten. And tears started to pour. A stranger is crying. She is weeping.

Oh god. Oh god. What has happened.

Fear knocked me to my knees.