Growing Up Gay

Where it all started Ch.1

       I was the favourite, the youngest grandchild. Me and my brother were the favourite grandchildren because we were the only grandsons. I was favoured by the family and was the first one you said hello to at family gatherings. Soon I became old news as the great grandchildren were born and i was no longer the favourite. I was now the one that got too Americanised and couldn't speak our true language. I was over looked in favour for the oldest and my nephews, the great grandchildren.
      In order to understand how i became the one too Americanised we need to start at my first home. We all lived in one big house with my grandma, 2 uncles, my Tia, and my 2 favourite cousins. I think thats when I was mostly the favourite. Suddenly all my things were packed and I was moved from LA to diet LA aka San Diego. I later found out it was because my dad got a job for border patrol. So he became a traitor to all Mexicans. My brother started middle school while I started elementary.
Nothing crazy happened till my brother ended high school and went to the military. Although I did slowly forget Spanish for English. After that I quickly became number 1 over night. All attention and love was on me. I would see my brother every now and then when he would surprise me at school to pick me up. At those times the love was still in balance. That all changed once my nephew was born.
He had curly hair that was soon lost as he grew older. Although as a baby he would fight, bite and scratch people which led to me calling him a hell spawn when I was younger. His father later left because he was a cheating manwhore, but not after leaving my cousin with another kid. This time the baby was a girl and soon my cousin was stationed in Hawaii. That is when the scale started tipping and I was about to be kicked off the leaderboard for love.
That didn't last much longer when my brother ended up being a manwhore too and ended up banging his way across the midwest. He later became married to a farm girl from Kansas after he got her pregnant twice. They ended up having 2 baby boys. That's when I fully fell off the leaderboard and my parents attention moved from me to the grandkids/nephews.
Later as I grew older I realised I had feelings I couldn't explain. When I walked into a locker room I found myself blushing and keeping my head to the floor. In 5th grade my fanboying over idols evolved into liking other guys. I struggled with my identity for years until high school. By than I realised I could be myself and if people don't like me for who I am than that's their loss.
During the pandemic I grew into the person I felt I was meant to be. Sure during the quarantine I struggled with anxiety and depression but it only strengthened me. Later I would be well known at my school for being the gay athlete but that doesn't matter. When people actually talked to me I wasn't shoving a rainbow down their throats like they thought I would. I talked to them in a way that was meaningful, I helped others with what I knew I could handle.
At the end of the day I became someone others could rely on. I was still called the gay kid but others knew my actual name. Those true friends defended me and saw me for who I was. I am so grateful that I was able to meet them and for such strong bonds.