Bottoms Up, Forget Tonight (Revelry Series #2)

Hakbang 40

"Pwede bang manligaw?"

I froze as I heard those words. He's looking at me closely, like he's memorizing every part of my face. I stared at the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.

Sa gitna ng pagkakaestatwa ko ay ang puso ring malakas ang kabog.

For the past years since we broke up, I've never felt this intense feeling in my heart. Maybe intense pain, but not this particular intensity. Pagkatapos ng sakit, tahimik at payapa naman ang puso ko. I liked it. I liked that feeling but there's really something with this intensity... that I missed feeling.

At si Zathrian lang talaga ang kayang magparamdam no'n sa akin.

My heart's booming intensely. It's roaring. It's thumping loudly for him. I have no control over it, like I'm not the owner of my heart.

Mahal na mahal ko siya...

Sobra.

Hindi ko na kayang pigilan pa.

Umayos ako sa pagkakatayo at nginisian siya. He looked a bit tense while waiting for my answer.

Alam kong ilang beses na kitang tinanggihan pero... hindi ko na talaga kaya dahil sobrang mahal pa rin kita. Kahit masakit. Kahit mahirap.

"Marunong ka bang manligaw?" taas kilay kong tanong sakaniya.

He courted me before, I know. Not the usual sweet courtship with flowers, chocolates, and sweet songs, but he did his best to earn my trust. He did it in his own way.

"I'll try my best." He answered confidently.

"Paano kung basted ka?"

"I am?"

Sineryoso naman!

"Paano lang!" irap ko sakaniya.

He bit his lips and smiled a bit. Yabang ng ngiti, ah? Parang kanina lang selos na selos siya. Boyfriend ko pa nga raw!

"I don't want to force you so if I'm basted, then basted..." kibit balikat niya.

I rolled my eyes. Nag-uumpisa na naman 'yang balikat niya, ah?!

Magsasalita na sana ako nang may dinugtong pa siya.

"But you should know that I'll do my best to not get dumped. I want you back, Cahira. So fucking much."

Ngumuso ako at nag-iwas ng tingin. I don't think I will ever get used to him being this vocal about wanting me back. Parang lagi akong magugulat.

"So kung basted ka titigilan mo na ako?"

"If that's what you want."

I rolled my eyes again. "Then you'll find someone else?"

He smiled and immediately shook his head. Inalis ko ang pagkakasimangot sa mukha dahil masyado naman ata akong nadadala sa usapan na 'to? Parang ako pa 'yong takot, eh, nasa akin naman ang desisyon!

What the hell is wrong with me?!

"You should not worry about that part anymore. Even if I get dumped, I won't find someone else. It'll be useless,"

"Why?"

"I can only love you."

I bit my lips hard and looked away. Ramdam ko ang pamumula ng pisngi. Makapal naman ang mukha ko pero hindi ko alam kung ba't nahihiya ako ngayon!

"So you mean to say... hindi ka maghahanap ng iba dahil ako lang ang..."

"Mahal ko? Yeah..." he continued my sentence smoothly.