I dreamt of something that rattled my spirits.
I dreamt of something that had a control that over rode my decisions and heightened my fear.
It sent my head into a loop, the pressure of the earth suddenly weighing me down with such a force I instantly kneeled over.
I knew the moment I needed to kneel to the ground, it was to be done so out of respect for something much more superior than I.
The fear that tightened my chest and sent my body into a spiral kept my body glued to the floor, but my eyes darted around in protest to see what exactly reigned over my mortality.
I heard the footsteps walk firmly, loudly, up the stairs from my backyard to the balcony. The door slide open and in came a tall figure dressed in all black. His height startled me enough, he ducked under the door frame and shadowed everything in the room. His legs were thin, his body elongated, and his face covered by a mask with exaggerated features.
His presence screamed dominance, his aura suffocated everything in his path. Like wilting flowers, everything keeled over to honor their imminent death. Was it death that was about to over take me? It felt like it.
Even though my body rattled from the immense fear, I still held eye contact with him. I felt my submission to his gaze control ever part of my body. Felt a weight in my limbs that made me dizzy, and sparked waves of anxiety that made my heart reverberate in my chest.
Who was he?
Even as he took off his mask to great me, his words blurred as soon as they left his lips. Whatever he was saying was lost in the dream, his tone, his demeanor, his threats, all were difficult to decipher. My body still recoiled, sliding further away from him in a jumpy way, the fear so intense I began to shake violently.
He noticed the way I trembled beneath him, and spoke words of reassurance, hopefully.
Even if his words were meant to be calming, the undertones of his visit were hard to dismiss. I was his, he claimed me, and I did what was told. No questions ask.
Maybe for most people it would be romantic, something similar to a Dom and sub situation. One partner was just more firm than the other, and the relationship functioned just fine. But this wasn't a relationship that was desirable for both parties.
Be it the intentions were pure or not, in the end one person would suffer greatly due to the other. I knew that immediately. No matter how much he coaxed me into treating him as an equal, the minute I strayed away from his expectations, I was going to be corrected.
He knelt to my level and soon after we transported to a couch. Somehow, despite fear, I lay naked in his arms. Our bodies molded against each others contour. We fit together like puzzle pieces and laid there quietly. The insinuation of what happened before the quick transition obvious from our position. As I looked down onto the two figures that lay there, she looked nothing like me.
They were both painfully thin, almost as if they were starved. Her skin paled significantly, barely much color to her body. But what struck me most was her eyes. They were wide, almost bulging open. Her face was stoic, but her eyes were wide and unblinking. Were they haunted by all that happened? Probably.
The trauma she endured was palpable with just one look.
Was that what awaited me?
I couldn't stomach the idea.
And with what little ounce of control I had in my house, in that dream, I shifted it into something I wanted. And in the echos of my mind I felt the displeasure of my chosen partner. But my family brought me more joy than that thing could ever and I had to establish the fact he could never own me.
Was that smart? I'm not sure. But it was the beginning of my battle against something that wanted to hold me captive. Put me away in a display box only for him to touch. And I was anything but his little play toy.
I am a person, an individual, and not for anyone to play with.
