December 7 2021, Tuesday 12:16 am
I'm sad, I feel really really sad. Why? I don't know.
There's this aching in my chest that never goes away. If I successfully distract myself then my brain doesn't focus on the pain but it still stays there.It goes up and down and up and down and keeps going. Day by day I feel as if I'm losing myself. I feel like there's a black hole inside me that sucks in all my happiness. My anxiety doesn't let me sleep at night anymore.
I stay wide awake as I watch the sun rise through my window. I haven't seen him in two days and it's making me feel restless. What if I go to sleep and he never comes? What am I gonna do then? This sadly adds to my anxiety.
I wish i could be a different person.
I wish I could be a child again
I wish I could hide behind dadda again
I wish he was alive
Death is a bitch
Momma doesn't understand mental pain. She says it's nothing. But how does she know? This void inside me doesn't let me live in peace.
It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts
it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS PLEASE HELP ME
YOU ARE READING
emotions
Contowell....this isn't really a story but just my feelings and my thoughts and the things that flows through my head on a daily basis. Things that I can't explain to people. Also I feel like they won't understand so......yeah...... This book is about fe...