PAIN AND PLEASURE |KIM TAEHYUNG

1.The hidden pain

"Child don't go there your mamma is coming" you were guarding them as you were a teacher in nursery class of this school . It was time to leave for children's from the school. They were waiting for their respective parents to take them home.

Now that every children's gone with their parents you were also leaving the School "hey Aera, let's have coffee together " Rose, who also work here but she took classes of higher batch students . She was a good friend of your as you work here, you both get along and have a good bond with each other.

" Ok let's go"

" You are the best Aera" you just gave her a smile .

You both reached the cafe and sat on the chair facing each other.

"So, are you going home on this
Christmas"

A sudden question, you flinched for a second and answer her "No"

"Why as I recall, you went your home last year in October don't you miss your family" family yup I miss them so much, everyday but I couldn't go there, I am just a burden to my family or I say more than a burden. Sometimes I think, why am I still alive, why. it better to die than living like a lifeless person, but I couldn't even die, if I die I would become more burden to them .

"And you never talk about your family Aera , don't get me wrong just asking because I never heared anything from you about your family"

"They don't live in Korea and holiday, it's just for 3 days its impossible to visit them and came back in 3 days " you said as you knew if you get to initiate this topic it could lead to a very bad path so you just wanted to closed this topic as soon as possible.

"But you can also fill application for more holidays"

"Rose if you know I already had taken so much leave in a row"

"Ya I know you have some health issue, sorry Aera I should not have interrogate you like this you now I am just a curious person"

"I know, You don't have to be sorry Rose" as you both finished the conversation and coffee. You both get out of the cafe.

"Ok then bye see you tomorrow Aera" as she leaved you also headed toward your apartment, not apartment just a room and a kitchen which was attached to eachother and a bathroom .

You were walking through street , the cold air touching your skin and you were in your own world taking small small steps so you could reach your apartment late, as you know what was waiting for you today at your apartment, a shiver ran down your spine and your heart started beating fast, just thinking about it, makes your whole body shiver. You didn't wanted to go, you wanted to run as far as you could from here but you couldn't because you already knew there was no escape, you couldn't escaped from this world you had to live like this, you had to endure everything just like you were doing it from past 4 years. A drop of tear rolled down your cheek and you closed your eyes.

"Now you are used to it YN doesn't matter how much pain, you deserve this you deserve this pain" you told this to yourself, you knew nobody deserve this type of brutal pain but you do because you blamed yourself for everything that happend 4 years ago. Everything changed from that day your name your identity and now, you couldn't change, whatever happening with you .

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