Subversion

Ama

CHAPTER 1

My heartbeat is fast and faster as I run-up to the street leading me home. My feet hurt but who cares? I must grow my butt and keep my tummy flat. Birds are singing already, and the sun is starting to heat up on my sweaty face and blinding my fucking eyes. "Oh fuck!" as I realize that I still must run up these streets. I'm getting late for school. I wipe the sweat off my face with my hand then I continue running as tired as I am already. I hate how my whole body is vibrating at the pace of how my heartbeats. As soon as I reach my home, my brother is waiting for me by the driveway, we are living at Parklands old houses. I hate how fast he is and leaves me behind. What if someone kidnaps me? South Africa has the largest number of women dying in the hands of men and that's fucking scary if you ask me. "You're very lazy Ama." Yeah, that's my name. Ama Zulu. I stand in front of my chilled brother, trying to catch a breath. It feels like I could die right now. "Are you sure that we have to jog every morning?" I ask and he chuckles then leaves me, running to the house. His name is Thando Zulu. I'm 19 and he's 20 years. I wish I was older though. I walk inside, feeling tired and I swear I could fall if someone would push me. When I enter inside, mom is preparing for work; she's a lecturer at the University of Cape Town, and I guess Dad is at his studio making one of his paintings. "Hey, honey. You're so sweaty. Please run upstairs and shower quickly before you're late for school. "Yes, mom," I say and she kisses my forehead then walks out to the kitchen door. Aunt MamBhele is making us breakfast as I leave her in the kitchen. I run upstairs and enter my room. My uniform is ironed and placed on my bed. I hate school. I take off my clothes, wrap my body with a long brown towel and my nipples hurt because of the piercings I put on them. I remember when mom found out, she was so mad at me for it, but I am already out of high school, she must just chill. I want to put a tattoo next time, so she's in real trouble. I take my towels and toiletries then I walk to the bathroom. I thank God my brother doesn't shower currently because he knows how to take his own time and waste mine. I untie the towel wrapped around me and it falls. I look at myself to the long mirror at the wall of the bathroom. I look so fucking sexy. I love my body; pussy looks clean after a shave and my boobs look hotter with these heart-shaped piercings then the main shapes, I am working on is my butt and tummy. My butt looks big and my tummy looks flat just how I want. I run the water and as the water run, I take out my hair shampoo. I also take out my phone from the toiletry bag and don't ask me why it was in the toiletry bag. I unlock it and check my messages. My girlfriend has sent me her nudes, as usual, every morning. I send mine too as usual. We share nudes almost every day. She's blessed and I'm blessed too. I go off WhatsApp and enter to my music player app then I play Amapiano. I enter the shower with my hair shampoo. I start showering.

Later by 7:44 AM, I arrive at school, entering the gate of the school. The security still hates me and some boys too. I meet my girlfriend halfway. "Hey, bitch." She pulls me by my pull-over and kisses me then she breaks it, wipes my lips. "How you're doing this morning?" she asks. Her name is Nicole, she's a colored girl and she's 18 years. She lives a few blocks nearby and her father drops her and fetches her. "I'm okay. I just don't feel like I could be here." I speak. I hate school. This place feels so wrong. Most people here are either racist or homophobic. I remember trying to cut my wrists for the first time which is something I still do; I was so overwhelmed by everything this school put us through as black people and as homosexual people. I grew up as an angry person, simply because my parents are always fighting. My brother behaves like he was hired to make me unsee stuff happening in the house and coming here, I must deal with racist and judgmental teachers. The only people who keep me sane are my friends and my girlfriend. "Let's go to class before we get lower marks for not pitching up with our project." She reminds me of the science project we've been doing. She pulls me by my hand as I drag myself to the class with her. She always makes sure I'm focused. She's a cute baby. We've been together for three years now. I love her and she's the best thing to ever happen.