nicotine; mgc

un

the city looks so pretty from my roof. i often come up here and think, i think about life, music, sometimes suicide. it's pretty hectic in my mind. right now it's 4:00 am and i'm thinking about life.

one question in particular, why am i always so alone? yeah, ive had friends and boyfriends, but they always leave. is it something about me? probably.

i grabbed the blanket that was around me and went back into my apartment. it was now 4:56 am and i had to be at work at 3:00 pm. maybe i could just not go to work. no, you'll get fired and lose this shitty apartment. i sighed and sat down on the couch, then sitting became laying, and laying became sleeping.

he was holding my hand and dragging me through a field. i was laughing and he was too. i couldn't see his face, but he was tall and had blue hair. he let go of my hand and sat down facing away from me. i went to sit next to him, feeling completely close to him. like i could tell him anything. there was such an attraction between us. i think i love him.

i jumped up from the couch, hearing my alarm clock go off in my ear. it was 1:00, i had to shower and go buy me an energy drink. as i showered, i thought about the boy with blue hair that i was in love with. who was he, and why was he in my dreams?