You were my favorite subject.| GYUHAO.

I

It's one of these nights again.

When the world is falling silent, empty streets triumphing over the madness of this non-stop working machine constantly pounding and steaming, taking over people's overheating minds, finally allowing them to cool off. Lights shutting down and taking a rest, leaving place to a cold and dark sky slowly and delicately settling down, wrapping itself around the town, bodies, hearts and thoughts.

Minghao always apprehends these nights. These nights when his mind and heart are too tired to fight against the constant and vicious feelings, usually well hidden and buried inside the deepest part of himself, always eating him up little by little like a sweet candy you take your time to savor, perseveringly making their way to his soul, heart and thoughts.

He always apprehends the changes that the night comes along with, the sky of the next day different than the last, the wind colder and harsher, hitting on his cheeks like a cut on his delicate skin, the trees showing off less leaves in the early morning than it did in the late afternoon.

Minghao fears the way each night represents an in-between two sunrises to sunsets, when he's ready to fight and take over the thoughts his mind constantly tries to bring all the way up to him, continually looking for the sight of a single crack in the shield of hurt he slowly built with time.

He fears the night because it corners him in the darkness after gently attracting him, sweetly seducing him with the charming and appealing sight of a starry sky or the thought of a rest under a warm blanket, heart at peace after a day of hurting inside his ribcage at the tormenting thought of all the what ifs or what he could've done to improve, what he could've done to never regret his life decisions.

Minghao always gets tricked and bite the hook, stupidly letting his guard down for a split second until he feels it coming again. The regret. The worry. The remorse. The wonder. The missing. The sadness. The curiosity.  And the hurt.

It all comes up to his mind, making its way from the deepest part of his body to his heart, making him shiver in weakness from head to toes, his body curling up in anxiousness and vulnerability.

Minghao fears the night because it's the only opponent he knows he can't win against. Because it's the only thing that brings the weakest and toughest part of him out to the surface, when the only thing he wants is to let them drown.

Tonight again, as he lays on his bed, music pounding against his eardrums, eyes shut and heart empty, he makes himself go through some hurt and pain as he lets his mind wander around the thought of him. And tonight again, he wishes he could have; at least, been someone to him.

His head fuzzes in questions and wonders; where he is, how he's doing, how are his studies going, if he's in a relationship.Does he think of me ? Does he miss me ? Is he regretting his decision ? Does he love me ?..

He lets his consciousness focus on him only, making a blur out of everything else in his way of sight, his thoughts slowly dancing along the pounding of his heart, the miss and the doubts.

It's been about two years since Minghao has offered for Mingyu to take care of his heart, by that confessing his love hard feelings, Mingyu cowardly leaving him behind, ignoring what Minghao would feel about his love abandoning his feelings and taking, stealing, kidnapping his heart along the way with him. And he never gave it back.

Tonight again, he still owns it.

As cliché as it can sound, they were nothing more than two inseparables best-friends, attracted to each other in so many different ways, with a tiny bit of one sided and unrequited love to make things a bit more spicy and exciting. They were nothing more than two lost souls looking for another one to be with, to complete the holes in their facades.