Luna

Darkness

I awoke to a soft buzzing sound. It was only in the background, but it was irritating enough to open my eyes to it. It was dark and around me different colors of lights were burning. Green, red and blue. Bright, all of them burned too bright for my eyes. I rubbed my forehead with my hand and looked around me disoriented. Oliver. Where was Oliver? Carefully I sought support on, it felt like, the wall and slowly pushed myself up. Just when I had gathered myself together enough and wanted to walk away, I was roughly pulled back. Instinctively I pushed myself roughly forward, in vain. What was I attached to? It was too dark to see anything at all. Why was it so dark, too? With my hands, I groped the wall behind me. My hands got stuck on a belt I was following. I felt at my body, which was apparently strapped into a harness. I found the buckle and clicked myself free. And loose I was, literally. I slowly came loose from the ground. We were on our way to the moon. Floating, I made my way in search of a window. With my hands I felt along the wall until I found an opening with a little more light. Everything was dark, with a few small points of light. The darkness was endless and left me breathless. The silence, the calm. Serene. Something I had missed for so long. I missed my "normal" life. The things you take for granted at first seem so unreal now, almost unreal when you think about it. I slowly float away from the window. I hear a squeaking sound and the door to the room slides open. "Finally! She's awake you guys." Oliver looks at me smiling. "Have you looked outside yet?" He points to the little window. I nod and float slowly toward him, then he closes me in his arms. He gives me a kiss on my crown and then puts his chin on my head. "It's really going to happen now?" All Oliver does is nod softly and together we gaze at the infinite stars.

Oliver had given me a brief tour of the spaceship. There were several rooms, which meant there was also room to be alone for a while. The ship was state-of-the-art and equipped with the latest technology. The ship resembled those you used to see in movies and series, equipped with all the trimmings. In this case, that was actually the case. In every room the gravity could be controlled, that way you didn't have to float the whole time. I had indicated after the tour that I wanted to be alone for a while and found a room filled with books. In the center of the room was a white spiral staircase that led to a half floor where there was a large couch and chairs. From the floor to the ceiling, old bookcases were filled. There was also an old wooden table and chairs. I let my fingers slide over the top as I walked to the cabinets. Books. So many different kinds of books, old and "new. I let my fingers feel the covers of the books. I stopped at a thick dark blue cover and took out the book. The front was printed with gold letters: Luna. This was my father's favorite book. My name was based on this. He had never had the time to read it to me. Never wanted to tell me what kind of story it told. I slammed the book open carefully, a musty smell released. I closed my eyes and took another breath. For a second I let all the emotions come in, a second. The pain was still too fresh. The moment I let everything in, it would seem like I was rudely pulling the band-aid off and that was something I couldn't handle right now. I leafed quietly through the book until the book fell open and an envelope fell out. My first reaction was to pick it up immediately, but the moment I have it in my hands I don't know what to do with it. I take a seat at the wooden table and put the envelope in front of me. My head is empty, I cannot think clearly and all I do for several minutes is stare at it. I know very well who wrote this letter and the pain it has given me. Somehow I am also very afraid of what it says, of what he has done. What he is all responsible for.... I have no more self-control and carefully open the envelope and let my eyes slide over his written words. My heart stops for a moment and I let my emotions in. For a moment, I press the letter to my chest and I look up. I feel a tear slide down my cheek and gently wipe it away. 

"Dear Luna...., How proud I am. Look what you have grown into. A beautiful, tough grown woman. You have found my book and also my letter. I'm sure there are so many questions you want to ask me, but unfortunately I can't answer them at the moment. Most importantly, I now know that you are on your way home, back with me. I am always with you and will always love you. To the moon and back. Love"