to YOU (one shot message for him)

You know who you are and this is for you.

we ended up 2 years ago.

and I thought it will be okay for me to let you go. sabi kasi nila, wag ako manghinayang.. hindi daw kita kawalan.

You broke up with me at sobrang nasaktan ang pride ko nun. Then I guess you're making some wrong choices at that time. so I let you go. dahil yun ang gusto mo.

the first week seemed harder than I thought.

yun bang, I miss everything about you.

I miss our first date, our first conversation; naaalala mo pa ba yung about sa korning jokes? HAHA! hindi ko din malilimutan yun. I was so happy then.

yung pagkain mo ng frenchfries tuwing kumakain tayo sa jollibee, alam mo na di ako kumakain nun but still order ka pa din ng order, pasaway ka. gusto mo lang ng isa pang frenchfries e. xD

I miss you calling me every midnight just to remind me how much you love me. I miss you chosing me over your basketball games kapag nagtatampo na ko. 

I miss you being with me, I miss me being so happy  with you.

Your smile, you care, your hugs, your texts, your laugh, your teases, your kisses.. everything that became my daily routine all of a sudden became nothing.

I used to write and think of magical stories bago kita nakilala.

I started writing love stories nung tayo pa.

pero mula nang matapos ang love story natin, I started being scared of writing love stories.

alam ko na kasi yung pakiramdam na masaktan, kaya lagi ako nag aalangan na gumawa ng kwento. ang naramdaman ko kasi,

walang masayang kwento.

mero ngang masaya, pero lahat din naman, natatapos.

in the end. lahat sad stories din ang kinalabasan.

the moment I let you go, I lost the magic.

until nabasa ko sa isang blog na kailangan daw i let go ang lahat, kailangan pakawalan lahat ng pait.

wala naman daw paraan para makalimot. pagtanggap lang daw.

AND THIS IS MY WAY OF ACCEPTANCE.

I deleted you as a friend sa facebook. and added you again. not because I want to be your friend.

BUT BECAUSE I'M STILL HOPING.

sana meron pang TAYO.

yun bang sa linya nila basya at popoy sa one more chance.

"Sana ako nalang.. sana ako nalang ulit.. "

kaso nalaman ko nalang na in a relationship ka na.

pero oaky pa din naman lahat sakin e. :)

okay lang talaga.

bawat post mo nililikes ko. sa dalawang taon na yun.

hanggang sa makauwi ka ng Pilipinas.

I thought I will be okay seeing you again, but not with her.

yung araw na nakita ko kayong dalawa na magkasama at pinakilala mo kong ex mo.

that was the day na sobra! nagising ako sa katotohanan! that I am WORSE THAN PATHETIC.

I don't know how to accept things now, yung bang. kailangan ba kitang burahin sa facebook?

kailangan ba kitang di kausapin at iwasan pag nakakasalubong kayo?

because in all HONESTY. I've been unfair to myself thinking You'll still be mine after some years, HOPING AND THINKING.. hindi ko nga hinayaan ang sarili ko na maka move on e.

now I realized You're that happy with her, I need to move on and accept the fact that everything between us was over. It was long ago over.

I just realized, nung nagkahiwalay tayo, I didn't lost you, I lost myself.

natakot na ko ng sobra magmahal, lahat ng bagay na binigay mo, hanggang ngayon iniingatan ko.

I BECAME PARANOID.

and THIS STOPS NOW.

I have to accept everything. sa huli din kasi, ako ang kawawa diba?

Hon!! thank you for coming into my life kahit sa dalawang taon lang. :)

 

sabi nga sa kanta,

I love you Goodbye. :))) 

I'll be okay and I know, through this, all the magic lost with you will return. :)