That little One

First to the end

Once upon a time, I was a dove, who can fly freely without worrying everything around me. Pero ngayon? I'm already useless. I can't even make my man to stay with me.

February 13, Sunday

"You.. don't want me anymore?" He asked. And I don't want to answer him. I just wanted to run and make his question unanswered.

I want to see his eyes for the last time.

So I did. I look up at him, and I saw his eyes. The pain and lonely, I can barely see it.

"Din." I called him.

He looked at me and he smiled sadly. The painful one.

"Bakit? Hmm? Sabi mo, walang bibitaw, hindi ba? Bakit.. bakit ikaw naman ang bumibitaw?" He asked nonstop. And I don't even know how to answer his questions.

It hurts. I love him. So much. Pero, bakit? Bakit hindi ko sya kayang ipaglaban? Am I afraid? Maybe yes.
Pero kahit na nasasaktan na ako, I still needed it to be done.

Kailangan ko syang layuan, para naman maging masaya sya. Maging malaya.

Dahil kung.. kung hahayaan ko lang syang laging nasaakin, hindi nya matututunan kung papaano maging independent. Yes, it hurts, but It'll hurt him more if I wont let him go this time around.

So I did. I inhaled sharply and looked at him determinedly.

"I'm sorry, but please let me go." I said with finality.

I looked at him once more. And.. he's crying already. He's crying.

I felt my heart being stabbed repeatedly. My chest tighten and all I want to do is to cry.

So I did the safest thing. I turned my back at him and walked away.

I head him calling me but I just continue walking.

When I'm already so far from him. I cried.

I cried because I love him. Sya nalang ang meron ako, pero ayaw ko syang masaktan pag dumating ang panahon na mawawala na ako. Mas masakit yun. And I don't want to hurt him so badly that's why I did this.

And from this day, all I can remember is that how I manage to tear him apart without looking back.

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January 13, Saturday

I picked up my bag and I'm ready to go.

Papunta ako ngayon sa Bus Station para makapunta sa trabaho. Ha, it's been a year. A year when I broke our relationship and promises.

Tss, masyadong maaga para mag-drama ako. I still needed to work.

Naglakad ako papalabas sa inuupahan kong dorm at ini-lock ang pinto. Pagkatapos ay inilabas ko ang phone ko at nagpatugtog nang paborito kong awitin. The song is entitled as Time Machine by Six part Invention.

Papalabas na ako sa pintuan ng marinig kong tawagin ako ni Aling Vinny.

"Hannah!" I heard her called me.

Lumingon ako sa kanya at nakita syang nakangiti saakin nang malawak. Ngumiti rin ako sa kanya bilang pagbati.

Tinaggal ko muna ang aking earphone na nakalagay sa tainga ko bago sya hinarap nang buo.

"Po?" I innocently asked her when se finally close to me.

"Ah, yung gamot mo iha. Nakalimutan mo." She said.