Just Him and Only Him

Why Him?

She laughed at his jokes. She walked with him. She talked about him. Only him and never me. It made me sick to my stomach when she talked that way about him. The look in her face when she would talk about his golden blonde hair would fill with pure ecstasy. When she talked about me, all she called me was her best friend who listens to her talk about men. Not women, just men. That was the problem, she liked men, not obnoxious women who can't keep their emotions to themselves. I was so envious of the blonde, he made her swoon and I didn't. I was her friend, only her friend. I watched as she walked with him, he always looked so unamused. When she talked to me, I would always listen. I watched my fish swim around as I thought about all these thoughts. Then I got a call from her, Charlotte. I answered my phone and put it on speaker.
"Guess what he did?!" She said enthusiastically. I hope he moved to a different country. Like Germany or something.
" He said hi to me and remembered my name!!" I was shocked. She was happy that he...remembered her name? Even though I've known her name for so long. She gave him so much credit for things I do everyday. I care so much more than him.
"That's great Charlotte," I said unenthusiastically.
"What's wrong? Are you jealous or something? Do you like him? I can't believe you would do that to me..." Charlotte said practically yelling at me through the phone.
"No Charlotte, I don't like him. I'm just busy so I didn't mean for it to sound like that," I said back in an uninterested tone.
"Jade, why do you act like this everytime I talk about him? You're always so apathetic. Never caring. Why is that? Is it because you don't like him? I'm so confused," She asked me.
"I just don't like him, he's obnoxious and I don't understand why you like him and talk about him the way you do. Stop acting like we're in fucking high school. You act like he's a goddamn savior and made you so fucking happy when he didn't. He treats you like dog shit. He never did anything for you, so why him?" I said ranting. The feelings of rage got over me and I had just kept talking. I truly didn't even realize what I was saying until I already said it. Charlotte stared at me in disbelief.
"Are you serious right now? He treats me way better than anybody else! He tries so hard, so cut him some slack. You're probably just a jealous homo who's in love with me or something." She hung up the phone. I stared at my phone, too shocked to move away. Did she really just call me that? Was she evolving into something like him? Has he brainwashed her so much that she started to act just like him? All this time, I've always wondered what she'd think of people like me. Was this what she really felt like, or is it something he would think that she adopted from him? My thoughts swirled around my head as I collapsed backward into my bed. The sheets hugged my side as I sobbed into my pillow. The fact that I couldn't even say anything back, try to defend myself, or deny the truth, the only thing I said was, absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. Not even a single word. I'm starting to act like a freshman again, getting all worked up over...her.