June 5th, was the day that I confessed my love for a girl. She was however, not just your average Jane. Luna Everett was extraordinary. She was beautiful, like a rose covered in morning dew, she radiated beauty from within her. She was never one to wear dresses or skirts, she hid within the recesses of hoodies and tracksuit pants, her hair always in a tail of blonde which cascaded down to her elbows. When she laughed, two tiny dimples would form on her cheeks, and she lit up the world. She didnt know she was beautiful. Though many boys would have the privlige to call her theirs, told her millions of times how beautiful she was. And each time she would gently shake her head and place two fingers on their lips, silencing them with the softness of her fingertips.
Luna Everett was my best friend and neighbour. Our bedroom windows were directly facing each other, the gap wide enough that when we reached out to each other, only our fingertips barely brush together. We've spent hours talking on the phone whilst sitting on our beds, pouring out gossip and secrets. I watched her laugh and seen those tiny dimples poke out, because of me.
I was there everytime a boy broke her heart. I crawled in the dirt to pick up the tiny slithers of her heart, and piece it back together. She would hug me, but I would always hug a bit too long and she would let go, and give me a dimpled smile.
She had the most beautiful brown eyes that twinkled in the light. Once, at school, when she was talking in her high pitched voice, her eyes fluttering and twinkling in the light, I thought of how they reminded me of stars. She had stopped speaking for a while when I realised I had spoken out loud.
"Stars?" She tilted her head as if she was listening to the heavens.
As if I had been possessed, my mouth started to speak:
"Your eyes, how they are like the stars! They twinkle in the moonlight, form constellations yet to decipher! They chant your name, Luna! The brightest star in the sky!"
My hands clamped my mouth shut. With an odd look, Luna turned and walked away without another word, several students stared with their brows raised.
I clench my fists and think of how stupid I am. I slide slowly down the wall, clenching and unclenching my fists. I turned my palms up, pink welts covering my wrists. I quickly pulled down the sleeves of my jumper. I wiped the tears already trailing on my face, and walked to class.
I never got the chance to come out of the closet, and tell her that I was gay. The words always on the tip of my tounge, but was always swallowed back by the fear of rejection. She would never love me. Hours before she disappeared, I was going to go over to her house, knock on the door and she was going to answer it and I would kiss her. Show her all the affection and love I was holding back for many years. I wouldnt mind if she never talked to me again, I just needed to feel her lips on mine.
I glanced at the folded piece of paper sitting on my nightstand. The three words I had never been able to say. I glanced up at my window and saw her. She was sitting on her bed, stroking her cat, milo. She caught me staring and slowly stood up and walked to her window, a smile on her face. She waved, and while I waved back, she wrote something on a piece of paper.
Whats up?
I gave her a sad smile and gently shook my head. Her smile faded, she added 3 more question marks to her note.
My fingers twitched.
Her eyes filled with worry, she wrote another note.
Tell me whats on your mind.
My hands reached for the folded piece of paper on my nightstand and before realising it, I was unfolding it and i slammed my hand up against the window. I love you. I closed my eyes.
When I opened them again and looked out the window. Luna was gone, her curtains drawn shut.
