Stuck in the 50s (girlxgirl)

Smooch or Kiss

The kiss was amazin' and wonderful and utterly jaw-droppin'. She tasted like cherry Popsicles and banana flavored gum. Like cozy winter nights, curled up by the fire and summer days in the sun lazily loungin' around all at once. And I didn't want it to stop. Ever.

But then reality set in.

I was kissin' a girl.

A girl.

What was wrong with me?

I pulled away and backed up against the wall, flustered.

Brooklyn was grinning from ear to ear. "I've wanted to do that since I first met you."

I shook my head, stutterin'. "You-we-no-I can't believe-did we-why-oh god... I.... I'm not..." Finally I just turned and ran out of the bathroom as fast as I could. I ran all the way to the other bathroom, locked myself in a stall and paced. Well, as much as I could in a tiny stall.

What just happened? Did we really just kiss? I'm a girl! And she's a girl! And I'm not gay!

I ran my fingers through my hair, tryin' to steady my breathin'. I needed to calm down and think. I could always think clearly usually. But Brooklyn had rendered me utterly confused and unable to sort myself out.

I needed to look at all the possibilities. No matter how wild they seemed.

Could I really be gay?

No!

My conciounse fought with itself.

But I really liked that kiss. And that feelin' I've been havin' is growin'

It's her influence! She's gay and you're curious. That's all!

But it feels like more...

Well it's not!

But what if it is? It's a possibility.

No it isn't!

Yes it is! I really, really like her! And not just as friends!

And what if your parents find out? Or the school? Our reputation will be tarnished and everyone will hate us!

Not everyone. I'll have her.

I cradeled my head in my hands and breathed deeply, accepting the facts. I liked Brooklyn as more than a friend. And whether I was gay, or bi, or just curious whatever, I knew one thing for certain. I liked that kiss. And I wanted to do it again.

I sighed and unlocked the bathroom door. Suddenly when I looked at my reflection I realized I had been crying. When did that happen?

I wet a paper towel and cleaned up my mascara, then reached in my purse to reaply my ruined makeup. As I stroked on some eyeliner I thought about everything. I had to talk to Brooklyn. It was the responsible thing to do. Especially since I knew I had feelings for her.

I touched up my baby pink lipgloss just because and smoothed my hair. Then I sighed and started walkin' to the other bathroom, hopin' Brooklyn was still there.

Luckily when I entered she was leanin' against the sink looking utterly bewildered. I didn't blame her.

"Hey." I said softly, so as not to scare her.

She still jumped. "Oh. Hey." She turned to face me.

"Listen I'm really sorry for running out like that."

"Yeah, what was that?"

"I just... I always thought I was straight and the kiss... scared me a bit." I admitted.

Brooklyn's expression softened. "Oh. Well now I understand a little better." She chuckled lightly.

I managed a smile.

"But... how do you feel?" She asked. "Because I really like you and if you don't feel the same way I want you to be honest with me."

"Honest..." I murmered. "Honestly? I really like you too."

"As a friend?" She asked cautiously.

I shook my head. "As more than a friend."

She smiled. "So are we... like... going out now...? Or...?"

I shrugged. "Well I'm gonna tell you right now that I'm not really sure about my sexuality... and I'm not ready to talk to my parents about this. They wouldn't accept it."

Brooklyn pouted slightly. "But... I like you and you like me."

I skewed my mouth to one side in thought. "Well... maybe we could date but like... secretly?"

She grinned and nodded. "That could be cool." Than she looked playfully offended. "But aren't you going to ask a lady properly?"

I grinned back and bowed, holding out my hand. "My lady, would you do me the honor of being my secret girlfriend?" I said in a phony Brittish accent.

She curtsied and said in the same accent, "Why of course I would my lady."

I laughed and stood back up. "Does this mean we get to kiss more?"

Brooklyn smirked. "Sure." Then she leaned forward and pecked my mouth.

We walked out of the bathroom together, laughing.

That afternoon after school we decided to have a sleepover, since it was a Friday. We stopped off at Beatrice's for milkshakes before goin' to Brooklyn's. This time we got a private booth in the back corner that was shielded from the rest of the diner so we could hold hands.

"This has all happened so fast!" I exclaimed. "Can you believe that just this morning I was denying my feelings for you and now we're secret girlfriends!"

She laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "You're cute."

I gave her a once over in her floral bandeau, cream colored skirt, and mint green pumps. "You're not so bad yourself. I love your outfit."

She smiled bigger. "I love your outfit too."

I was wearin' a white button-up colored shirt in a tumblr girl style with mint green shorts and pale pink flats. "We match." I giggled, pointing to her shoes and my shorts.

Brooklyn shook her head, her grin lopsided. "This is crazy. And unexpected." She sighed happily.

"I really like you." I said, sippin' up the last of my milkshake.

"I feel like we've said that a hundred times today." She chuckled.

"That's because it's feels so good to finally be able to say it!" I said happily.

She nodded and we kissed again. We'd been doin' that a lot.

I quickly glanced around to make sure no one could see us and thankfully they couldn't.

AN: HEY SO THEY'RE SECRET GFS YAY! I know some of you might think Carolina accepted her gayness too fast and that this happened too fast but I don't think it did. They really, really like each other. Also everyone is different when it comes to realizing and accepting they're gay. For instance, my sister didn't accept her feelings for a long time and kind of hated herself but eventually accepted it. But then, I have this friend who was just like "yeah lol I'm bi. I love girls sm #thegaynessisreal." (maybe not in those exact words, though) But yeah, the point is, it's different for everyone. So I hope you all liked this chapter! *sigh* I update too much. You must think I have no life. You would be correct. Remember to comment, share, and vote! Love you all!

-G. Schreiber