It's a cold night of the 23rd of September and I am torn between wanting to draw or to paint. As crazy as it sounds, I've been mentally debating with myself for an hour or so and it kind of frustrates me.
I know it's not some typical teenage problem that the youth today like me deals with on their daily basis,but what can I say? I am for more different from them.
As to continue my masterpiece, I took out my pen or which I call, my magic wand; with which I pour out the workings of my soul into a white blank page and let my hand move freely as it crates the sublime work piece of art that I am capable of.
I've decided to draw; though I don't really have much of a choice since I forgot to bring my other wand, which is of course my brush.
In the midst of my escaping from reality, my stomach grumbled; I let out a little sigh. To my dismay, I've lost track of time again. I't 9'oclock, and the library's about to close.
I thought of my mom; she's probably worried sick about me and it pains me to know that the moment I stood on our doorstep she would bombard me with words which for sure I will not comprehend .
I smiled.
Oh yes, I can picture her out.
I can now picture out how a raging mom would embrace me when I get home.
As I clear out my table, I can see that someone is approaching near me. 'Better get my things fixed.'
"Excuse me sir, I'm sorry but we have to--" grabbed my sketchpad then made my way out of the library, even before the guard finishes his sentence.
As expected, the horrifying scene with my mom assumed reality. "What time is it?" Mom asked when I turned on the lights. "I lost track of time, sorry" I replied making my best not to have an eye contact. "Jesus Christ, Paulo! Don't give me that reason again. I've been calling you--" "2missed calls" cutting her off. "Look mom, i'm really tired. I need sleep" pushing past through her, then made my way to my room as fast as I can. "THIS ISN'T THE LAST OF IT! YOU ARE GROUND--" slamming my door shut.
I placed my stuff on the side table and let myself fall on my messy bed. 'What a day' I thought to myself. 'Could this day get any worse' I added and as if on cue, my phone went off. And this is how my day goes.
Day by day, I'd be at the library without fail. It is there wherein I'd release parts of my soul through every stroke of my pencil. It is my routine; to draw; to paint; to create art. To be art. It's in my everyday life, because I believe that such thing wouldn't change. Not even my mom.
The next morning, I went to school 30 minutes earlier the said time. So I decided to head to the parking lot in front of our school gate for a bit to hang out with my friends.
"What's up with you? You look like shit" Jim told me as he examined my face. I made a sour face and shrugged his filthy hands off. "Hannah called again, she was crying. She told me about her ex cheating boyfriend" i said matter-of-factly.
Jim gave me a meaningful look while he tries to light his cigarette. "Dibs on her!" 'What an asshole.' Instead of answering him, i found myself looking at the front gate out our school.
There's this fine and gorgeous girl walking out of the gate. Then like in the movies, everything was in slow motion. There was this irresistible feeling that made me want to stare. The way she placed her hair on the side of her neck made me shiver, but in a good way. The sun touches her face; as she waits for the school shuttle. I like her small rounded but cute face.
"Ouch!" I exclaimed, when someone slapped me on my face hard. "God damn it, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I told him angrily and pushed him harshly to get him out of the sight.
"Bruh, you were spacing out. Hannah was here seconds ago. You weren't paying attention".... "Damn! I lost sight of her" I told myself, still hopelessly looking for her. "You lost who?" Jim asked.
I shook my head, "Nothing, what were you saying?" I dismissed.
I tried to look for her, its been 3 months. Still no sign of her, not even a shadow. My friends don't know any of this, and I intend not to. 'Sigh'
It was just the usual ordinary routine,
I made my way to the library, straight to my usual spot.
It was always like the usually, the same time and the same place.
But something was different, there was a new face.
Months have passed, I was still on my daily routines; making art. Countless of times, my professors acknowledge my excellence in this field. Some of my works were posted inside and out of our school and I've never been so happy and proud of myself. I wasn't expecting to attain these achievements but I am thankful.
But some things are beginning to change. Though Im still not aware of what it was but I know soon in time I will. Hope so.
Maj's impatient hand moves slowly
"Like this?" She asks
I nodded, and then held her hand as I control them.
"I give up!" Throwing both of her hands, "I will never learn how to draw an eye"
I pinched her nose. 'Adorable'
She pouted and crossed her arms.
I reached out, placing a hand on her chin. Lifting it slightly, enough to see her small but cute face.
'If only you could see yourself the way I do'
