TW: overthinking, suicidal thoughts, self harm, suicide
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He hates me, I'm just annoying him. I need to stop bothering him with my fucking problems, I should just end it, end everything. He has friends, friends without problems, easy friends. He's gonna make it. I'm not that important anyway.
The sounds of an incoming message interrupts his self destroying thoughts, 'My Pika ❤️⚡' being shown on the lockscreen of his phone before it's turned off again.
Not now, I can't, I need you to be free, I'm sorry...
You don't deserve... Me. You're better off without me anyways. I can't do anything right anymore, it's not working out anymore. Nothing works anymore.
Shinso looks in the mirror, dark eye bags can be seen, smeared eyeliner adding on to that sight. His dark violet eyes are dull, making him seem barely alive anymore. His bright yellow hoodie not really fitting his vibe, well it's not his to be honest, it's denkis.
It makes no sense, there's no use in trying anymore. This life is just not pleasant to live at all. It just hurts and hurts and shows no sign of stopping. It's just getting worse day by day by day.
A second message interrupts him once again, from the same person, making Shinsos heart hurt even more, knowing that the blond one cares about him. He turns off his phone, completly.
I can't stop now. I can't win, I can't live with this pain anymore.
I need to do this, I need to end it.
With that the purple haired boy pushes up his sleeves, ignoring the scars, he got so used too but hates at the same time, and looks at the mirror once again, one last time. In particular at the hoodie he's wearing, one last time. He burries his nose in it, one last time. Smelling his lovers smell, one last time. Taking the letters out of the drawer and taking them with him in to the bathroom.
It ends now.
He's relaxed, for the first time in weeks, one last time. It's peaceful, all his racing thoughts stopping for once. He takes the bottle if pills out of the closet in his bathroom.
It's a nice colour.
After swallowing all of the pills he cuts his arms open, laying down in the bathtub.
It has to work.
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Gonna end this here, not sure if I'm gonna continue it later on.
Putting my feelings onto an animated character to help with my mental health, so sorry of it's weird lul
