Dandelion's Latibule [TCF/LCF Fanfiction]

Savior? That's Bullshit

The surprising revelation made Deruth's lips wobble and his legs to weaken. He recognized he had overstepped his bounds with his statements. To realize that he had practically savored every moment of his interrogation because he believed the other man was on the verge of telling him everything he desired to know.

Was this the outcome he hoped for? To unearth the secrets that the other man has been attempting to bury deep within his shattered soul?

He was the one who made him cry. He was the one who made his son weep. He appears to be on the edge of collapsing, and it's all his own doings.

He should have heeded his instincts from the beginning, and he wouldn't have had to torture his son in this way. God, he obviously appears to be bearing a great burden inside of him, and he's simply exacerbated it.

His beloved child seemed to be dead on the inside, as if his eyes were mirrors to his soul, which was lacking of any life... it's as if he wishes to slumber...... like he wants to die.

And he's only made things more difficult for the other man. He pushed his heart even harder, causing it to bleed so much more.

Ciel whispered with his breathy voice, staring at the other man, "If that was all you wanted to hear." As he turned around to go, his arms were tiredly plastered to his sides. "I will take my leave now."

Deruth has the sensation that the words he meant to speak have become stuck in his throat. He wants to apologize, to retract every remark he's made about the man, and to assure him that he has a place in this world and within his own territory.

"N..no... son, please..." He tried to reach out to the other man by grabbing his wrist, but he realized that he had messed up even more when he felt the redhead's entire body shiver and stiffen up as if he didn't want anybody touching him or perhaps he was too traumatized.

Ciel looked around in response to the man's pleading tone. Slowly raising his eyes to meet Deruth's, he was greeted by the misty brown eyes wracked with guilt and anxiety, presumably at his own acts.

Ciel could live with his mental and emotional scars, but he couldn't bear to see his family with this look on their faces as a result of him. Ciel appreciates Deruth's desire to safeguard his family. He'll never resent the man for making him feel this way; he has no idea what's going on and it's perfectly okay. He can close the imperceptible, huge hole in his heart at the end of the day because he is used to doing the same thing everytime he loses someone important to him. Deruth, on the other hand, is not capable of doing so. After knowing that he had broken another bond, his father would have been unable to bear the guilt. He already has a tense relationship with the Cale in this world, and he doesn't really want to worsen the situation and add to the man's problems.

Their guilt, their misery, their despair, everything... Ciel is willing to shoulder all of it as long as their joyful smiles last forever.

He couldn't maintain his family's genuine smiles back then because he couldn't protect them.