My Blue Christmas Day

Christmas

Christmas.

One of the most anticipated holidays for everyone.

Noche buena, exchange gifts, dinner with families, reunion with relatives, celebration with friends or lovers.

The birth of Jesus Christ. The whole world waits for this day to come...

But not me.

As every family prepares their food on their tables while wearing matching clothes and singing on the karaoke before noche buena, my family prepares to go to sleep.

For my 18 years of existence, I have witnessed families eating together, catching up, celebrating Christmas, but not mine. We treated Christmas as a normal day.

I have always been envious.

I also wanted to count down as the clock hits 12, dress up in color red, gather around the table to eat, sleep together with my cousins in one room, and play around.

I also wanted to anticipate Christmas day.

This day has always been a special one for most people, but I cannot even remember a single memorable event from all the Christmas day that has gone by.

Will that day ever come? Will I also experience these things that most family usually do on Christmas day?

While most families are eating, drinking, and having fun this day, I am alone in my room writing this on Christmas eve.