[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[176.] Suicidal tendencies. [I] [TW]

NOTE:

Trigger Warning

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The inspiration for the next chapters was really not just the name of one my favorite bands, but this song in particular. This is how it feels to be unhappy in love.

Enjoy!

Suicidal Tendencies  - "War Inside My Head"

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- Beloved, is that you?

Jiang Cheng was soaking in the bath, grateful for the warm water in the cold day  –  it was helping him relax fully, and he was sitting with his eyes closed when he heard the door of the Hánshì  open. He smiled. Lan Xichen was coming home a little earlier.

Light steps behind his back; he begged:

- Come, come, my love... Are you cold? Oh, Zewu-Jun... I missed you so so much! Please, rub my shoulders a little, husband. My back is all stiff, I slept far too long without you...

Two cold strong hands were now massaging his shoulders and his neck, and he subconsciously purred, not really realizing he was making all those sex noises. The hands on his back got warmer and were now trembling slightly, sliding up his neck and caressing his cheeks, stroking his hair lovingly. Amazed at how quiet Zewu-Jun was today, he laughed a little, taking the right hand gently and rubbing his cheek against the warm palm.

- My love, you probably are so tired... Shall we have dinner in bed again, Ze---

That sentence never got finished, as Jiang Wanyin opened his eyes, vaguely sensing that something was very wrong. His eyes were now fixed on the palm he was holding in terror. 

These were not   Zewu-Jun's hands.

The room exploded in purple sparks  –  Zǐdiàn  was in his hand in a blink of the eye, and he  jumped out of the bath with nimbleness he never suspected he was still capable of.

- HOW DARE YOU?! HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME?!?

He was mortified. Not because of the danger, although this thought was in the back of his head too  –  the worry for his baby. No, now he was shivering all over, feeling betrayed, violated, dirty. His mind was bringing back his promise to his loved one, the only promise that he had made to him, and that was now broken. 

The promise that he would belong only to him, that he would never let anyone else touch him, ever in his life.

Someone had touched him, caressed, petted him, lovingly. He felt sick, sick to his core. Tears were running down his cheeks and his chest was heaving  –  he thought he would throw up any moment now. The right hand was holding the whip firmly, the left was on his belly, and he suddenly realized he was absolutely naked, dripping with water on the wooden floor.

- I will kill you. I will murder you! I will make you watch your insides spill out of your body... How dare you! Monster!!!  –  he hissed, too angry to care about anything.

- WANYIN!!!

Was this Lan Huan's voice? Or was it another trap? Another lie? 

Who was it?