[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[177.] Suicidal tendencies. [II] [TW]

NOTE:

Trigger Warning

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Lin Shou-Yi had knocked on the door of the master bedroom, but no one answered. He wondered whether perhaps the Master had fallen asleep. 

But then he was suddenly worried  –  what if something had happened!? In the last weeks he had been listening carefully to the tales of the girls in the kitchen and the servants' quarters. Almost everybody was discussing their Master's baby, expecting it with impatience and excitement too, but also telling various stories about the end of a typical pregnancy, or ones of their own.

He would bite his lips and really worry  –  it all sounded awful, horrifying. Was his Master really feeling so poorly all the time? He didn't know. After the last night he had spent under that dreaded window, he dared not return. 

He knew that Zewu-Jun was observing everyone and everything extremely cautiously, like a predator, lurking and waiting for a mistake to be made so that he could strike as fast as a lightning. He knew that that night was arranged as a provocation, as an invitation for action. It was the most disturbing thing he had ever seen, but also the hottest. Just remembering it, thinking about it, made his blood boil and his brain switched off, and he felt lost, spellbound, captured and captivated by a vision of passion and inhuman thirst.

Now the silence behind that locked door terrified him, and he opened it carefully, entering silently just in case his Master was sleeping.

"Beloved, is that you?"

These words were not his to keep, they did not belong to him, they were not uttered for him, but they broke, shattered something inside him nevertheless. They grabbed and squeezed his throat, and he could not make a sound, helpless to resist the pull towards the milk-white skin, the fragrant long hair, the life that was pulsating in that bath-tub.

"Please, rub my shoulders a little, husband. My back is all stiff, I slept far too long without you..."

Husband... 

The pleas felt like an invitation, like permission, and he approached, bewitched, and his hands were finally touching the gentle warm skin freely, just like in his dreams. He was panting, enjoying the pressure he was exercising over the soft and pliable body; the contact was so mesmerizing that he was doing his best to massage his Master's back without moaning. Flushed, he had to constantly remind himself to breathe, because it was so, so hard to breathe now.

In a trance, he barely registered what he was doing. Being so close to his Master, naked and welcoming him to his body  –  it was not just overwhelming, it was pure magic. He knew that if Sandu Shengshou was to turn around right in that moment, he would die. And he would die a happy man, having had the chance to touch so intimately and freely the one he worshipped.

"My love, you probably are so tired..."

Gods, oh, Gods, his hand was touching the soft skin on Master Jiang's face, and it was so tender that it felt almost like a kiss... 

He was blushing severely, realizing suddenly just how turned on he was, just by the touch of his amazing Master. Tears started running down his face, he had never had such tenderness in all his life. What a lucky man the Gusu Lan Clan Leader was! To have this amazing man every day, every night! It was a dream come true. 

A dream that had come true for someone else...

He blinked the tears away, and the next thing he knew was the whip around his neck, squeezing, and the tremendous force of  Zǐdiàn  being unleashed flung him against the wall, and got  all the air out of his lungs.