[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[178.] Suicidal tendencies. [III] [TW]

NOTE:

Trigger Warning

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Lan Xichen was dismounting his horse, too content that he would be able to surprise his husband pleasantly by arriving home a little earlier than expected. The housekeeper was there to help him, giving a short report of the last two days, knowing too well that Zewu-Jun was worried.

- The Master slept so long again, Zewu-Jun. But I don't know why. He seems fine today, he is taking a bath. Should I prepare a light breakfast for you, or will you wait until dinner?

- Ah, just tea. I am not too hungry, but let me ask Sandu Shengshou, he seems to be always hungry lately.  –  he grinned, dripping wet under the falling rain.

- Very well, Master. We are all ready. It could be any day now. I have a boy ready to ride and fetch the doctor too.  –  she smiled, bowing.

- I appreciate it. Let's pray that everything will be alright.

- I am sure it wi ---

Both looked sharply to the right as now the Hánshì's windows exploded in purple sparks and the master bedroom filled with buzzing electricity.

- Master!!!!!!  –  she exclaimed, ready to run.

- Oh, Gods... Wanyin...

Zewu-Jun gasped, pale, and immediately ran, ignoring the rain and the mud; even as he was running, he took his robe off, hurriedly throwing it to the side, so that it did not lie heavy on his shoulders. In just seconds he threw the door open, terrified.

- WANYIN!!!

The scene in front of his eyes left him breathless. Jiang Wanyin was naked, trembling, choking Lin Shou-Yi to death, screaming hysterically about being dirty. He approached slowly, ignoring the licks of magic on his skin.

- My love... My love, let go... I'm here, A-Cheng... Please, sweetheart... Please... Think about the baby...

He was reaching out, vaguely aware that the housekeeper was standing in the doorway, frowning, and calling for the guards. He took off his shirt and placed it carefully over his husband's shoulders  –  it was soaking wet, but it was still better than nothing.

Jiang Cheng slowly diverted his glare and was now staring in his face, flushed and clenching his teeth; his face expressed utter disgust and anger. 

He finally whispered weakly:

- Forgive me... Zewu-Jun, forgive me... My love, forgive me...

Lan Xichen touched his hand, shaking his head, stroking the wet sleeve slowly.

- It's fine. It's fine now. Let go, love... Let go...

Shivering, Jiang Cheng let go of his magic, and the ring curled on his finger again, still sparkling. He fell in his husband's arms, sobbing. Zewu-Jun hugged him tight, but still turned around sharply ordering the guards to lock the now coughing and choking Lin Shou-Yi up. 

When the two of them were all alone in the bedroom again, he gently took off their clothes, and took him to bed, lying next to him, holding him, coaxing him.

- Forgive me... Please, forgive me... Please...

Jiang Cheng was shaking, too upset, repeating the words over and over again, unable to stop sobbing.

- I am here. I am here, my heart. I will never leave you alone again. Never again, Wanyin... Never again. Never, my little one. Never, my soft kitten... Calm down, beloved...

It took hours before Jiang Wanyin calmed enough to be able to speak and tell him everything. Zewu-Jun was listening without interrupting him and his face was so dark that Jiang Cheng got genuinely scared to be in his arms, for the first time ever. Still, he, miraculously, had the self-control to stay in bed with him, caressing him and cooing gentle words in his ear.

Later, they had some food and dried their hair, and then spent the night murmuring love promises and vows, stroking and kissing each other, needing to prove over again that each had the other completely, and belonged to him absolutely.

It took all of Lan Xichen's willpower and self-discipline not to rush and kill the man. But he knew that he was going nowhere, and his lover needed him now more than any time before. So he stayed, showering him with gentle petting and reassuring words, kissing his face and the baby bump, blaming himself for being so gullible and leaving Jiang Cheng alone in such a crucial moment of their lives.

- All will be fine, my beloved. You will see. You are safe now. Rest now, Wanyin... I am here.