✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

53. Grown-up Responsibilities

This chapter is dedicated to twilight. Happy new year!

"Morning, baby," Gabby said with a smile. She was using that greeting more and more often; Tess almost felt like she had to start believing in intuition. She couldn't be sure, but it seemed like the word 'baby' came out a lot more often on days when she'd woken to a wet diaper.

She couldn't argue, anyway. If she denied it, there would always be some way Gabby could tell. And getting caught in a lie was a hundred times more embarrassing than a single word that she had almost learned to ignore. The best she could hope for was if Gabby assumed it had been the same as every previous time. She didn't even want to think about what had happened this morning.

"Did you sleep well?" Gabby asked while she was serving up breakfast. Tess was about to answer when she realised that it could be a trick question. Gabby had been so nice, and tried to help her, but she still had to try to keep her secret. There was no way she could let an adult know about the latest speedbump on her road back to normality.

"Well enough. You?"

"Pretty good. I've got a lazy morning today, so might try cleaning the house this morning. Less rush later in the week. Do I need to empty your bin and let the vacuum in?"

"No," Tess shook her head, and went back to eating. And that much was true; there was no urgent need to empty the bin in her room. But she was starting to think she hadn't been as clever as she had thought in disposing of a wet diaper. Gabby would notice from the weight if she went to empty the bathroom bin today, and there were bound to be questions. "No, my room's fine. But you should empty the bathroom bin. Sorry."

"Nothing to apologise for. So long as I know what needs doing, it will be done. But I gather from that blush that my baby didn't quite sleep soundly last night. Or... a little too soundly, I think you said."

"Yeah. It's still embarrassing."

"I said the trigger last night, didn't I?" That was when Tess froze, the fork stopping halfway to her mouth with its payload of delicious fried mushrooms. She hadn't even thought about that. Would Gabby stop telling her not to have accidents, if she thought that the trigger phrase was no longer working? That was one consequence that she hadn't even thought about.

"I suppose it can't work every time," Gabby continued to muse. "But I was thinking that it had proved pretty effective for you. If it doesn't always work, I guess that opens the possibility that there might be a physical problem. Would you like me to sort out an appointment so we can tell a doctor all about this?"

"No!" Tess gasped. The thought of sharing her shameful secret was still terrifying; and she knew that the hypnosis had worked perfectly, even if she couldn't share that with Gabby. She had to come up with some alternate explanation, if she didn't want to say what had actually happened. "No, I mean... I think it might be my fault this time. I drank too much last night. I wasn't paying as much attention, and I think I had more wine than you realised. That can cause... problems even for adults, right? Hypnosis works with the mind, so it can't overcome problems with your brain. I just need to show more restraint."

"That's a very responsible thing to say. And I think I know you well enough to know you don't make the same mistake twice. But promise me, if the hypnosis lets you down again, you'll let me know? I don't want you to be relying on something that doesn't really help."

"I promise. But..." Tess took a deep breath. After all the problems she'd had, she wondered if this might be a valid excuse to experiment with the hypnosis a little more. She knew that she couldn't let her cousin know what was actually on her mind, but as soon as she opened her mouth a believable explanation came spilling out: "Actually, could you let Ffrances know I'd like to... talk to her about that again? I'm wondering if it might be possible to... I don't know, change the suggestion so that it helps me to notice when I'm drinking too much. I think there's a way it might be improved, but I don't know how good my understanding of the science is. So I'd like to talk to the expert, when it's convenient."

"Of course. If there's anything we can do to help you, you know we will."

Tess nodded, and didn't say anything else. She still wasn't sure if she needed help, but she knew that it would be better to ask, just in case. If this happened again, she would be consumed by embarrassment so much that it would be difficult to talk about it at all. And, right now, there was no way for Gabby to guess at anything out of the ordinary.

"Thanks," she said again, finally polishing off the last of her breakfast. She wasn't in any real rush to get ready for school, but she was glad to have avoided completely embarrassing herself. And then she remembered one of the messages she had seen on Clatter this morning, just before she'd been distracted. She should probably talk to Gabby now rather than later. "Is it okay if I'm late back tonight? It's a friend's birthday."

"A friend I know?" Gabby snapped back, and Tess didn't know how she was supposed to answer that. She should have given a name right away, and the fact that she hadn't made it pretty clear that she knew Gabby would disapprove. "Let me guess... you're going to visit a boy. This Spike guy?"

"No... yes. Well, we're going to the cinema. He asked a bunch of friends. It's not like we'll be at his house or anything. It's not like..." She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence with 'a date', because there was still a part of her that didn't want to completely rule out the possibility.

"Well, I'm not going to stop you having a good time with your friends. But let me know where you will be, understand? And what time to expect you home. And I hope you're not letting your hormones run away with you. Emotions can make you careless, you know? If he tries to kiss you or touch you, you're going to have an accident, and I know that's not what you want."

"Gabby, you're not my mum. And Spike isn't like that, he's a good friend. Okay?"

"It's hard for me to trust that kind of boy, but I'm sure I can trust your judgement. So don't let me down, okay? And let me know when you expect to be home."

By then quite a few minutes had passed, and Tess knew she needed to rush to get everything ready before school. Ten minutes later she was out of the door, feeling a whole lot better about the day. She knew that some things had gone wrong, but she had kept her secret and she had Gabby's reluctant approval for her plans. There was nothing else she needed to worry about.