EPIC Redneck Failure

The Little Tractor Incident

***Hello Readers! This is a completely unfactual story. It's just something my friends and I came up with. It is JUST for laughs.

But anyways, enough with the serious stuff. I hope you enjoy the book!***

Tim's POV:

Hi, my name it Tim. I'm 15 years old and was recently looking over some memory books with my mom. (The reason is unimportant... I think she was showing me what she can do to embarrass me in front of my girlfriend. That's a creepy thought, though...) There was this one picture that stuck in my mind. Now that I know about it, it's safe to say it will probably haunt me forever.

This is the time I had, an epic redneck failure.

It was almost ten years ago... My dad is a farmer, so I grew up watching and learning about the exciting, thrilling really, life of... Agriculture! My family has been growing crops for generations. I'm not sure how I feel about growing something as gruesome as vegetables. I mean, growing something that kids hate, just so parents can buy it? I don't think so...

I was a cute six year old, a blonde buzz cut, chubby cheeks, long legs. I liked to help my mom, when she was making FOOD. But for the times when she wasn't making anything, which was pretty often, I would follow my dad around. I would follow him in the fields, greenhouses, the chicken coop. Pretty much anywhere.

I saw my dad with this big machine a lot of the time. I think he said it was a tackitator, a tractor? Well, it was something along those lines, I'm sure. He would let me come up with him, but he wouldn't let me touch anything. Who would bring a young child somewhere, with lots of stuff to touch and buttons to press, without letting them push anything?

The curiosity of such a mysterious machine invigorated my senses, though. Observing my dad, I was able to figure out which lever made the machine start. I never found what made it stop though. I swear, it was magic or something.

One day, my dad had to go into town to sell the stuff we grew. My mom went to the upstairs of our little two-story, country dwelling. I only had a baby sister, Charlotte, but she wasn't going to tell on me. At least I hope. Otherwise we would have the world's smartest baby.

I crept out of the house in my jeans and boots. With some difficulty, I finally managed to climb up to the seat of the tractor. I think that this was the work of parents. They try to keep us off of the coolest things...

I somehow, don't ask, managed to turn on the tractor. That steering wheel, in all its round glory, was just so appealing. I started turning it, I also started pushing a pedal on the floor. Was that important? Ah, oh well I guess. The tractor began to move. This is frightening, yet, so exhilarating! I looked behind me. There was a trail of plowed out field. Well, my mom always says, "live and learn!"

I steer forward but end up pulling a bit to the left. Ok, I've come a mile or two from my house. Now where am I going to go? Especially when I can't stop! I hit a patch of raised dirt. This thrusts me forward, just enough so I'm standing on that silver pedal. Oops... The tractor shoots forward into our neighbors field. I think that plow thingy broke off a while ago, so I'll just leave tire marks......