Losing Love • Malec

Chapter 32

Hey guys! So I'll probably will be updating at least once a week now. (Does anyone else remember when I used to update every day for like two weeks? Yeah, that'll probably never happen again.)

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Alec was surprised how easy it was to answer the questions Kara and Ben asked him. They were all about how he feels, which was pretty easy considering he didn't really care about any of this. They told him that by performing the spell he had agreed to this, and that made sense. The only thing Alec didn't get was why he had the warlock (Alec was still wishing be knew his name) perform the spell on him. Yeah, he did it to save Jace. But why did he care about Jace so much? Alec had no idea at all.

"When was the last time you can remember feeling love?" Kara asked, continuing the line of questioning and bringing Alec out of his thoughts.

Alec furrowed his eyebrows, not sure how to answer the question. "What does love feel like?" He asked. Alec knew the spell took away the feeling of love, but he wondered if it actually took the feeling away or if the spell just took away his ability to match the word with the feeling.

Alec remembered whispering 'I love you's to Magnus under the moonlight, but the words were empty, a void of emotion. Alec desperately tried to tie an emotion to the words, but he couldn't. Alec tried harder, but the dull throb in his head returned. Once again, he stopped searching for emotion.

Kara and Ben glanced at each other. "We wouldn't know what love is," Ben said slowly. "Because we can't feel it either."

"Did you have the spell performed on you too?" Alec asked.

Kara laughed, and shook her head, her blonde hair swinging slightly. "No, silly, don't you remember? We're part demon."

It didn't even occur to Alec to glare at her for calling him silly, the only thing he was doing was trying to remember how Kara and Ben were part demon. Alec found the memory, a simple plain memory that was purely factual, no emotion attached. Alec wondered what emotion had been there, love or hate? Alec remembered the twins saying he couldn't feel hate because he couldn't feel love, and Alec had no idea what either of those meant. Were they good? Bad? One good, one bad? Alec wished he knee.

"Is love really bad?" Alec asked, remembering what they had said about love being bad earlier. He had decided to ignore their question and follow his curiosity.

"Oh, yes. It consumes you, it's all you can think about. You do crazy things for people that you would never normally do. It make you lose your mind, and have crazy emotional and irrational thoughts." Ben said with passion.

"It sounds awful." Alec agreed, fully convinced. Alec was glad he had given up love, sure he had helped Jace, but he had helped himself too. Even though some of his memories were missing emotion, Alec still didn't mind. He was missing bad emotion, which was good.

"That's why we have an idea," Kara began. "To remove love from all the shadowhunters."

Alec smiled. "That sounds like great idea."

"Do you want to help?"

"Of course." Alec said. He felt happy to know that he would be helping his friends by removing the worst emotion ever, love.

•°•°•

After Isabelle cried her heart out through her eyes, she ran to call Clary, Simon, and Magnus. If Alec had really and truly done the spell, then the cure for Jace would be where it was said to be. Isabelle didn't want to take something from those awful twins, but if Alec had sacrificed love for it, Isabelle felt like she should at least take it and save Jace. Plus, it was their only hope. The Silent Brothers had come (after hours of begging the Inquistor to have them be brought here), but they hadn't been able to do anything. It was a new kind of demon, they had said, one they hadn't seen before. Isabelle suspected Kara and Ben had somehow summoned it.

"Clary!" Isabelle gasped into her phone, a nervous wreck.

"What?" Clary asked, her tone beginning to get nervous when she heard Isabelle.

"It's Alec. I-I think-he's done it."

"He did the spell? What? How?"

"I don't know who did the spell for him. I-all I know is that Jace isn't his parabatai anymore."

"What?"

"My guess is that because the parabatai bond is built on a brother-like love, that when Alec had the spell performed on him the bond broke. Jace's rune is s-silver now."

"By the Angel," Clary said with horror. "Does that mean we can get the stuff to help Jace?"

"That's all you care about, isn't it! Your precious boyfriend! You're so selfish. Well, in case you didn't know, my brother might not be able to love anyone anymore!" Isabelle yelled into the phone, all the pressure of everything falling down on her.

"Your other brother is lying sick in bed! He might never wake up, Isabelle! Alec made this sacrifce, we need to help Jace!" Clary yelled back, the selfish thing hitting a nerve.

Isabelle took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "Yeah, I'm sorry. You're right." She said breathlessly.

Clary sighed into the phone, not at Izzy, but more at herself. "I shouldn't have immediately jumped to help Jace, sorry. How about we get the stuff for Jace, get him back on his feet, and then we can rescue Alec."

"Yeah..." Isabelle said, then she had a horrifying thought. "What-what if Alec doesn't want to be rescued?"

"I don't know," Clary said, feeling a sense of dread creep in. "I just don't know."

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Sorry it's so short! I've been busy...um...doing totally important stuff like watching YouTube. Very important.

Adios!