In the middle of the night

Chapter 13

☀️

"Mae…" Mew wailed.

"Why did Gulf hide it from me?" Mama T soon cried too.

"I'm sorry, Mae...Phor…" Mew pulled away from the embrace to look at the folks. "I'm sorry I failed at taking care of Gulf as I promised." Mew couldn't help but blame himself.

Had he been even more attentive to Gulf, perhaps, they wouldn't have ended up like this. 

"Come on luk, let's talk outside…" Mama T wiped his tears and led them outside while Bester and Papa T stayed with Gulf.

At the corner of the room, Bester was handling the work stuff. He needed to inform the company of Gulf's situation. 

Mew finally calmed down from another bout of crying fit when they arrived outside.

"Mew… luk, don't blame yourself." She started when they sat down. "Gulf wouldn't want that." She was right but Mew couldn't help but reprimand himself. 

If only he had given Gulf the confidence…

"Luk," Mama T spoke again while placing her skinny hands full of motherly love on the contrasting pair of Mew's hands.

"Krub, Khun Mae…" Mew looked up and responded. 

He was always so polite to the people around him regardless of age. It was one of the things that Mama and Papa T liked about him. 

"You know you're like a son to me right, Luk? Mew nodded. 

"Thank you Krub, Khun Mae. You are like a mother to Mew too Krub." She smiled softly at his response and cupped his cheek, brushing the tear stains away.

"Mae Krub… Mew heard the doctor Krub." He held her hands tightly this time and earnestly looked at the tiny woman. 

"Gulf knew about his stomach ulcer… and that was why he chose to leave Mew, right?" 

Mew's pupil darted left and right. He was anxiously searching and waiting for the answer.

Mama T nodded after a moment of silence. "Yes, Luk." Mew broke down once more upon her response. 

The woman gently pulled the sobbing mess into her embrace once more. Her own eyes started welling up again. Her heart broke whenever she saw her son agonising over the breakup and at his health condition.

"The truth is…" Mama T pulled away but kept her hands on Mew's. "Gulf has never stopped loving you." 

"Then why….? Why did Gulf leave Mew instead of telling Mew the truth…?" 

"Remember there was a period where you and Gulf fought a lot over nothing? And how he would come home often giving a lot of excuses?" 

Mew nodded. "Krub. Mew didn't know what Mew did wrong. Mew just thought… Gulf was just tired and perhaps… He stopped loving Mew...." Mew continued sobbing.

"That's because you didn't, Luk." She wiped his tears gently and shook her head. "Gulf was sick and in a lot of pain but he didn't want you to know. Whenever he was in pain, he picked a bone with you just so he could come home." Mama T explained. 

"And on the day when he broke up with you and came home, he looked like he had cried a lot. Not only that, Gulf looked extremely haggard as well. It was as if he hadn't slept well…" She choked.

"We asked if you both had a fight but he said no and to stop asking. You know when he says in that tone, it just means he wants to be left alone and that he will fill us in later." 

Mew nodded. Getting Gulf to speak his thoughts was difficult at times but Mew was patient. He would wait until whenever Gulf was ready. 

"I remember how pale and weak Gulf looked. We were so worried something bad had happened but we could only wait." 

The loving mother couldn't help but blame herself as most parents would whenever their child fell ill.

"Then later that night, we heard him screaming in pain. His pillow was drenched with sweat and we saw him clutching onto his stomach. It was a horrifying experience for us." Tears rolled down her cheek as she recounted. 

"It was when we rushed him to the hospital that we got to know of his condition. The times when he returned home so frequently after picking a fight with you was just because he didn't want you to see him sick."

"But… those days when he walked out were so frequent… " Mew felt terrible and stupid for engaging in those fights with him. He was upset that Gulf had changed. And a huge part of him thought that he had fallen out of love with him. 

Mama T nodded. "Yeah, Gulf confessed that he hasn't been feeling very well for quite some time and he had gone to get himself checked behind our backs." 

Mew frowned. He still couldn't understand him. The younger watched Mama T take her glasses off to wipe the tears on her face. It was now her turn to cry. 

"We wanted to tell you but he stopped us. We didn't think much about it since he said he wants to be the one who told you but we didn't expect this to happen. If we knew his choice was to leave you, we would have talked him out of it a bit more." She shook her head and sighed.

While she understood Gulf's intention, she felt sorry for putting Mew in such a plight. 

Their parents knew how much their sons were in love with each other. How they helped each other grow while loving each other is nothing short of beautiful.

Their love was unconventional but who's to stop two people from being deeply in love? 

"Luk… please don't blame Gulf na… you know what he is like." Mew nodded. "Mew would never blame him, Mae." 

"But Khun Mae… why…" He just couldn't fathom why Gulf thought leaving him was a better idea. 

"Does Gulf not trust Mew to take care of him?" 

She shook her head and brushed his cheek with her thumb. "It's because of love. Love clouds our judgement and makes us do silly things but our intentions are good. He knows how much the entertainment industry means to you. Gulf doesn't want to be a stumbling block so he thought it was best to leave you." 

Mew frowned. 

"He knows on days when he relapses, you would drop everything to be there for him. And he knows you'll protect him, Luk. That was why he chose to walk out." 

It didn't make sense yet it did. "But if the roles had switched, Gulf would do the same thing too."

"Because you both love each other. But if the roles had changed, there's a possibility you might act the same way as Gulf too. In the end, Gulf chose to sacrifice himself because he loves you." She held his hands once more.

"I know it's silly but trust me, Gulf loves you very much. I am sure you know that." Mew nodded. 

What Mama T had said made a lot of sense. There's no guarantee that Mew wouldn't do this.

There was a brief silence before Mama T spoke again.

"You know… when he found out how much you've been suffering, he wanted to run back to you but he stopped himself. But you know how stubborn Gulf can be. He was dead set on thinking that he would be your liability." 

Mew frowned. 'Why would Gulf think that?' 

"... And because he feels that he's always on the receiving end, he feels that it's only right to keep it from you and choose to suffer in silence."

"But that's not true!" Mew exclaimed. "Gulf has given Mew so much. Without Gulf, Mew would probably not be able to love again… ever since the last heartbreak." 

"I know, Luk. I know." 

"Thank you for telling Mew na, Khun Mae. Mew promise that Mew will work harder to be even happier with Gulf. Sick or not, Mew still loves him a lot, Khun Mae."

Mama T smiled and nodded. "Don't forget all of us are rooting for you both na. We trust that you will fix this."