I lay there, silently...just thinking...I guess. but maybe its not the best for me to think.
Why am I so useless? Why am I just nothing but disappointment? These questions flooded my mind. And more importantly. How can I get out of this?
My head swarmed with ways out...out of this life...out of everything. I just want to start again.
You see the mind is a dangerous place, It's just filled with everything that has ever happened. There's Some good memories but there is also the bad memories. now those, those are the worst.
I take a few gulps from the bottle of alcohol, I just want the numb inside me to leave. I need help I think to myself. But where from? who from? Everyone in this goddamn worlds hates me
Don't get me wrong I have tried but nothing ever works "NO, NOTHING EVER WORKS!" I throw the dirty green Bottle at the wall causing it to shatter into a million pieces on contact with the wall. My parents will probably hear it but they don't care....no-one cares about my pathetic excuse of a life...maybe I'm better off dead. I'm fucking useless, waste of space, just a would've been, could've been, should've been and a never ever will be. I'm going nowhere
I turn onto side and shut my eyes tightly hoping that I will never have to open them again. I drift off into a deep sleep
*the next morning*
I open my eyes slightly and sigh. School. I climb slowly out of bed and grab a pair of black skinny jeans and I slip them on
I then grab a plain black T-shirt and put it over my head so it falls lightly over my bare chest, I style my long-ish hair to the way that I want it to be, I shove my van-like shoes on, I grab my bag and shove it over one shoulder. I step out into the blazing heat which was generated by the blinding sun and start my journey to school.
*at school*
When I walk into the grounds of the school I put my head down, trying to ignore the comments being made.
As I continue walking through the corridors clueless to where I was going as school hadn't started yet, I make a sudden collision with this girl causing her to drop her books. She had long black hair which contrasted perfectly with her ghost-white skin.
Her hair was straightened so it was stick straight, she was wearing a leather jacket, a plain black T-shirt, black combat boots and black skinny jeans which had some chains attached to them. "Oh My God I'm so sorry" the girl exclaimed collecting her books off the tiled floor and looking up at me, I don't reply and start to walk away. "Hey!" She shouted while starting to run after me grabbing my shoulder "can you show me where.....room 1...6...4?" She asked struggling to read the paper which was turned sideways "no" I simply reply with I again tried to walk away "please?" She pleaded repeating the same routine as earlier "just fuck off will you?" I shouted in her face. Leaving her just standing there, frozen, her facial expression was surprised, shocked and slightly disgusted, good. Now I won't have to deal with her ever again. I walked away speedily avoiding any possibility of her catching me again. The bell rang loudly indicating first lesson. Maths. I walk down the long corridors until I reach my destination. I go to sit in my seat at the back of the class. As usual I would just sit there by my self, doodling and writing in my notepad, barely doing any work. As the class starts to fill I notice the girl from before standing at the front of the class, looking quite nervous. Mr.Jones quickly got her attention and he started talking to her Mr.Jones then looked around the class and pointed to the seat next to me. Fuck. Does that mean that, that dickhead is going to make me sit next to me? Why? What the fuck did I ever do? I sighed as the girl made her way to my table, flipping her long black hair out of her face. Neither me or her said a thing for the first half an hour of the lesson until she spoke. "Hey I think we got off on the wrong foot" she exclaimed confidently "can we start again?" The girl asked sweetly
"No" I replied
"Hi, my names Sapphire" saphire said holding her hand out for me to shake, she's not going to give up is she? "What did you not understand about the word no?" I asked. Her facial expression changed instantly from happy to sad, disappointed in a way. Sapphire didn't bother trying to make conversation with me after that.
*SAPHIRES POV*
Ugh why was he like that, why won't he talk to me? Maybe I should just leave him alone. I saw that the boy was scribbling into a notepad of some kind. I looked over his shoulder looking for some clues that would explain why he was being like this "I've got a secret it's on the tip of my tounge on the back of my lungs and I'm gonna keep it" nope that doesn't help "I know I bend and I break all my promises" nope "I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone" jackpot, I smiled at my finding. So he's just scared? Scared of getting close? Why was this? The questions swarmed my head putting me into a daydream "Do you mind" he says with an exasperated sigh. God his accent is so beautiful "Oh sorry" I replied I feel like this is the time to start again "so I didn't really catch your name..."
"I didn't throw it" he said which made me laugh internally. Suddenly I heard the deafening bell ring, he quick shoved his notepad into his bag and walked away "I ONLY WANT TO KNOW YOUR NAME!" I shouted to him
"FINE! ITS OLIVER OR OLI WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO CALL ME JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE"and with that he walked out the classroom.
Hm....Oli......I like the sound of that
----------------------------------
HAI GUYS!
so this is a new fanfiction!
Yes this is a Bring Me The Horizon fanfiction
I'm going to work on this one for a while so I'm putting the BVB one on hold for a bit also I might delete my Muse fanfiction and start a new Muse fanfiction 'cause let's face it my Muse fanfiction is shit....
WELL ANYWAY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS FANFICTION ILYSM :D
-Sam
© Copyrighted.
all rights go to XxofficialmuserxX on Wattpad (pls don't steal)
