The Unusual Thoughts of November (On Hold)

Chapter Ten

:- C H A P T E R  T E N -:

"Wow, these jeans are nice!" I open my eyes and sit up as Leah holds up a pair of my jeans.

"Put my stuff back," I frown.

"Ah, you see November, now that we're room-mates, what's yours is mine, what's mine is yours."

"Whatever," I fall back on to the bed and close my eyes again.

"I wouldn't go back to sleep if I were you."

"Why not?"

"Excessive sleep is a warning sign and warning signs will only make you stay here longer. Besides you'll have to get the Nurses wake you up and believe me that isn't very nice."

"Can't they just let us-"

"This is a Psychiatric Hospital," I wince at those words. "Not a hotel." I sit up once again and Leah picks up the case labeled 'November's playlist' "Is this good?"

"Haven't listened to it"

"You brought a CD that you haven't even listened to, that you might not even like. That's smart." She raises her eyebrows and cocks her head.

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit."

"Yes, but wit is the highest form of intelligence," Leah stands and walks over to the window which has bars surrounding it. "So thanks," she throws me a fake smile. I get up and pick out some clothes that are now lying on the carpet.

"Is there no where to get-"

"Changed? Nope. Should of woken up earlier."

"Piss off."

"Bit rude." I glare at her and turn away as I get changed

"Right, let's go get breakfast." I follow Leah downstairs to the dining room. The vinyl floor feels cold beneath my socks seeing as there's no point wearing my shoes without any laces. The dining room is made up of small clusters of chairs and round tables. Over at the side is a serving area that resembles that of one in a secondary school - but with a more orderly line. We get our food and Leah takes the last seat on a table full of other girls, making quite obvious that she doesn't want my company. There are no empty tables and everyone seems to already know each other. I notice one boy perched on the table furthest in the corner. He sits oddly straight on a table by himself. His hair is messy, I don't mean an attractive messy. Straight strands stand up in odd places and a few pieces of greasy blonde hair fall into his eyes. I sit down and pick at my food in silence.

"Don't you like it?" His voice is deeper than I expected. He has a calming voice. Deep and calming.

"Like what?"

He frowns, "The food." I shrug in response. "It's Tuesday and they have pizza for lunch on a Tuesday."

"Well, it's not lunch."

"Yes, but it will be." Why is he telling me this?

"Do you like pizza?"

"Yes, but the one here isn't very good." He stares straight at me when he talks. I've never been very good with eye contact so I focus my eyes on the wall behind just left of his head.

"Good to know," I put my knife and fork back down.

"You not going to eat that?"

"No."

"Anorexia Nervosa? Bulimia Nervosa? Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder?"

"No, stop." I hold up a hand to shut him up. "No."

"Then what? That's why most of the girls are in here." I sit silently. "Sorry, Andrea says I ask too many questions and that I should give people space sometimes because not everyone wants to share things and I shouldn't expect them too which seems pointless because something must have happened to you for you to even be here in the first place."

"You see Andrea?!" I look at him properly this time.

"Yes. She's working today but she doesn't come in until 10."

"What time is it?" He raises his hand and points at the clock on the wall. 9:49. "Shit! Sorry, um," I stand up taking my plastic plate. "Well, see you later then," with that I leave the boy, I didn't even catch his name.

I wander the hallways in hope that I might see Andrea. I have no idea where anything is. It's not long before I retreat back to my room. I decide to look at my timetable. I'm supposed to have therapy today with 'Dr Stephenson'. There is no way I'm going to that. Tomorrow I have group therapy as well. How fucking cliché. I throw the schedule to the other side of the room and pick up the CD. There's nothing that says what's on the disk so I just put it in Leah's CD player. What's yours is mine, what's mine is yours. I push play. 'Animal Rights' blares through the speakers. I sit down slowly on the bed and close my eyes. I always liked music without lyrics. Mainly because most songs are about love and the idea of love and all the touching has always freaked me out. Not that I ever told people that. The door opens near the end of the song. I open my eyes and Leah's standing there just looking at the CD player.

"Um, sorry," I turn the music off.

"No, it's okay you can use it," she says distantly, still looking at speakers. "I think I've heard that song before." I sit there looking at her, confused by her trance-like speech. She shakes her head, "Anyway, do you want to get lunch?"

"Not really."

"Yeah, well, you're not allowed to skip it and they're only serving for another ten minutes so pretty much have to come now."

"Fine." So just like it was this morning I follow her back down to the dining room and just as the boy said, they're serving pizza. I sit down on a table by myself  and that boy comes over and sits opposite me once again.

"See, pizza," he smiles a little and I still don't understand why something ass little as what we're having for lunch matters to him so much. But I suppose there's not much to look forward to.

"What's your name?" I feel awkward asking the question as I'm usually the one asking.

"James, what's yours?"

"November."

"November? That's a strange name." I nod.

"I know it's the unaskable question but," I stare down at the plate. "Why are you here?"

"What? What crazy, whacked up thing did I do to get myself put in her?" He quivers as his anger rises. "I'd attack people, hit people, hit myself, cut myself, they put me in here because I'm not even safe from my own hands," he clenches his fists. "You cut yourself don't you?"

"No I don't"

"Then what's that on your arm, don't think I haven't noticed. Did you do that." I swallow.

"Yes," I mutter turning my arm so the scar is pressed against the table.

"Normal people don't do that."

"Of course I know that," I try to shake my head gently so that my hair covers my face.

"Did you try to... kill yourself?" He whispers the words like they're not allowed to be spoken. The truth is, everyone is so afraid to say it. They try to be vague but it's the same thing no matter what words they use it's the same thing. In a strange way I'm thankful, thankful for how upfront he is, for his naivety. Trying to dress a morbid topic up in pretty clothing is pointless because underneath it's the exact same thing. I look up at him our eyes meeting for the first time.

"Yes."

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Authors note: So we're finally on the tenth chapter and we have reached 1k reads!! I cannot that everyone enough for their support and reads! I understand that the last chapter was very vague so I hope this clears things up so far. I will leave the link to the song 'Animal Rights' at the top. (Strange name for a song that has nothing to do with animal rights...) I have also changed the day of update to sunday seeing as I usually upload around at 1am in England so thats technically Sunday... I hope you have a fantastic day and don't forget to vote ;)