Pieces of a broken heart

Chapter one: Where it all began

I'm a mess, I always am. It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, it always ends the same way. Every time someone gets close to me, I end up fucking things up. But this time it wasn't me. Let me explain.

Iv dated a few girls in my time, skinny girls, curvy girls, nice girls and even crazy girls. But I was at a moment in my life where, I didn't want to date or be in a relationship.

My best friend Charlie was pushing me into going on a dating site. Not in a bad way, but she wanted me to get my self out there again. I was just going through a breakup with a fling that I had. And if I'm honest with my self, I never even loved her. Harsh I know but that's the truth.

One night, when Charlie and I was just hanging out I downloaded a bunch of dating sites, mostly because I did want some company but also because she wouldn't shut up about it. I downloaded Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Zoe and some others. I had a few interests especially from men.
Which didn't entertain me at all because I'm gay.

After I thought all hope was gone. I was flicking through girls on Zoe and this girl come up that she swiped right on me, so I looked at her profile and as soon as I saw her picture. Her pictures was something else, she was the most beautiful person Iv ever seen or at least in my eyes she was.
Know we all have a type don't we? Yano the once's that's just makes up weak at the knees. Well that was her with me, blonde hair and blue eyes do crazy things to me.
It was a match. We both matched, I couldn't believe it.

Yet, I was still so much. I'm done dating, there's no harm in talking. But from the moment we started talking sparks was flying, we had a connection like a really strong connection.

We spoke on the phone for the first time, I was so nervous. I didn't know what to talk to her about, I asked all my friends what I should talk about.
But when she did finally ring we was on the phone for 8 hours. I can't even remember what we was talking about, we spoke about everything.

The conversation was just flowing, we was messaging all the time. I was staying up late when she was working nights.. so we could get through this together and I just generally enjoyed talking to her.

After about a week of us messaging each other constantly she asked if we could finally meet. I almost ended up ghosting her because I was so nervous. The thing you need to know about me is I'm very self conscious and have body insecurities. My ex use to put me down all the time.
But my next door nebiour Charlotte talked me into going, so I brought a few drinks for the train, for Dutch Courage.