ᵒᵛᵉʳˡᵒᵃᵈᵉᵈ||ᵒˢᶜᵃʳ ᵈⁱᵃᶻ

6%

𝗢𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗿'𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩

𝗕𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁
⇠⇢

People view me in many different ways. I've even noted a few criminal, scummy, non-factor, hopeless, and my most favorite of all, a mistake. But of course things tend to stick when there's no one who cares enough to defend what's being said. As a kid, things at one point, we're amazing. I had my mom, dad, and little brother things that felt perfect.  Everyday felt like summer. I've come to know that was only a result of my obliviousness as well as my mothers willpower to keep me shielded.

After my mom died the blinders were ripped off and I could now see the things my father did. It's one of those situations where it was good until it wasn't. My dad felt it was necessary to start pushing my weight around. But I don't know how a kid could be expected to do that. When I found out, I hated it. Although my resentment for my father really set in when my father disappeared one day and I was forced to take over his load.That's really where my shitty life began.

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Life has a funny way of working out in all honesty.
If you would have asked me a few years ago where I see myself I would have answered that I would be at a beach off the coast somewhere. Somewhere where I could be one with myself and be at peace.But like I said before, life really does have a hysterical way of working out. Because lately things have been in utter shit.

I recently finished my time served for my second strike. So now I'm just trying to put that shit behind me. But understand that trying is the operative word. I've been trying to go legit but with everything in my past holding me back it just seems especially hard these days. No one wants to hire an ex-con and they look at me like I just bring trouble wherever I go.

I never asked for any of this though! I've just been trying to take care of things so my little brother Cesar and I can have a better chance at life. Or in the least peace to where we aren't looking over our backs every waking moment.

But here I was again with another door being slammed in my face...

"Look kid, you seem like you really want to make the best of what you got going on right now. But I just can't have heat like that in my place, I mean there are consequences to letting you work here." I gave him the same look I gave everyone who's been saying this exact thing to me. The look is unsatisfactory. " I've maintained a neutral standing in this neighborhood for a while and I just can't mess that up. Sorry kid. I really am."

"It's cool, thank you for your  time Mr. Chavez."

After that I just accepted things for what they were. I wouldn't be getting out of this lifestyle unless I died.  So I just headed home and made peace with the situation.