Sleepless Nights ✓

🌑 Chapter V 🌑

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

CHAPTER FIVE

It echoes inside her mind. Bouncing back and forth in her skull as if a bullet had been shot into her head. Perhaps it would have been better if there was a bullet that was echoing and traveling in her skull rather than the sound which she cannot get out. It is like a tornado that has the only intent on destroying. And it destroys her mind wherever it travels. Never allowing her a piece of rest nor space to even have anything else on her mind. It echoes so loudly that she can't hear anything else.

That laughter that makes her want to bang her head into a wall. So hard that it would end her life. That would at least be better than having to hear that sound over and over and over again. No matter what she does, the sound is so agonizing. The laughter of the nightmare which she has had since she was young. It pains her so deeply to hear that she wants to get away. Scream. Scream so loudly that her throat would burn so much that her voice would leave her. Even then she knows that the sound of that laughter won't leave her. And then she hears it out of her mind as soon as the door opens...

***

The tears roll down her cheeks as she hides in the cleaning supply closet of the diner. She had not gone home. Far too afraid to even leave the diner. Afraid that if she were to step outside, then she would be offering herself to the nightmare that once chained her to another life. Her breath is heavy as she rocks herself back and forth. There is no light in the closet. There was once, but the bulb had stopped working some months ago and while she tried to ask someone where they were, no one wanted to bother about it.

Since she was the only one using that closet to store her cleaning supplies, she was supposed to deal with it. Karina did not know how to buy a bulb and she does not know how to put one in if she bought one so she did not do it. The darkness she could handle for the closet is not that large and she always puts everything in the same place. That way she knows where everything is without even having to look.

She sits there. In a very uncomfortable position. Crammed in with all the cleaning supplies that smell so heavily that she feel like she's going to faint. She deals with it. It is not the worst place she has been stuck in. Compared to where she has been in the past, this is luxury to her. Karina silent tears are so quiet that she wonders if the silence does feel sad for her. Probably not. She does not deserve it. She does not deserve anything any longer. From the moment that she saw that chain, she knew that her life feel down fright in front of her.

All that she has worked towards comes down and she can't hold onto anything. Her legs had refused to even move. She had to crawl to the supply closet. Where even her own body did not even feel any energy to be. She had stared at the door, in that darkness for hours before sleep took her away. She does not know what the time is, nor does she care about that. In fact she does not care about anything any more. It's all gone and her mind along with it.

Karina's mind is so dark and so gloomy that it might even rival the night itself which should be blazing out there. Some hours pass her by. She does not notice. All that she does is stare into the darkness. Her body rocking back and forth. Creating no sounds. Her tears have stopped from lack of water in her body and each time she cries, it pains her deeply. Not as much as her heart feels. She feels dead. Her body is alive but she feels dead inside. Like before. Like she had been before, dead and alone.

If she would actually die in this supply closet, they would just throw her body out. No one would bury her. No one would mourn her. She would die and the world would move on like it always does. The world will not care. Never has the world cared for her and never will it care. She is all alone and she's lost in this sea of hers. Afraid of the dark and yet the darkness is her only friend and that is where she belongs. Death would be more of a comfort than life is. After all she has gone through, death would not be the end, it would help.