Desiderium

The Beginning

Chapter 1

Julie looks through her bag angrily for her apartment keys. She is tired and longs to take a long hot shower and wash the dirt out of her wavy brown hair. The stubborn door is old and takes a few hits before it can actually open into to the small studio apartment. She walks in slowly, throwing her bag on the floor while searching the room for any signs of her roommate being present. She hasn’t been living long here, maybe a few months. Yet she isn’t very close to her roommate, they hardly ever cross each others paths with the busy schedules they both have.

While the hot water streams down through her hair and ever so slightly burns her skin, she sighs in contempt. Julie hasn’t had the best day or month to be more exact. Being an artist is much harder than she thought it would be, especially when no one really knows who you are. She works day and night at an old tiny art shop, where she teaches kids to paint and occasionally about many of her favourite artists. Although it does bring a smile to her face to see so many potential artists, it doesn’t really pay the bills. So, when she’s not busy teaching or taking up commissions which hardly ever come up, she works as a cashier in a convenience shop. She hates it.

After wrapping her hair up in a florescent pink towel she moves towards the kitchen to start cooking. She knows very well that she should dry up her hair, especially in the winter. However, her stomach growls and demands to be fed. She reaches into one of her shopping bags and gets out the items she got from the convenience store. Bread, butter, ham, cheese, salad, tomatoes and mayo. The usual. She begins to spread a generous amount of mayo smoothly across one of the sides of the bread, occasionally looking at the ticking clock on the wall in front of her. She contemplates, wondering if shell bump into her roommate tonight.

Julie is a particularly very curious person. And the fact that she rarely sees or even speaks to her roommate, leads to her curiosity growing. Maybe its because she doesn’t have many friends, or rather, she doesn’t have the time for them. So, part of her longs to get to know her roommate, maybe become friends with them, because at the end of the day, the last person she meets everyday is him.

The sudden barging of the door startles Julie, making her drop her knife, the mayo splashing on the floor. She swears under her breath, as she picks up the knife and wipes the floor. She stands up puffing, then shooting a look towards the door. Her eyes widen slightly realising its him, her roommate.

Christian is a ballet dancer. He spends his mornings studying ballet at one of the best dance academies and in the evenings he’s either auditioning for a play or laying tables at a small little coffee shop by the sea. You might be asking, how on earth can he afford to study at one of the greatest academies, if he lives in a tiny studio apartment with a roommate. Some say that Christian reached his peak in high school, and with amazing talent won a scholar ship. Unfortunately, things have been going down hill ever since then.

Especially tonight. You could even say it was one of the most important nights for him. There was this audition for one of the main parts of one of the most popular plays known – the Nutcracker. With a part like this, his career would have surely kick-started into action. He worked day and night for this part and rarely came back to the apartment to sleep or eat. He fully exerted himself and he was sure that he would get it. But he didn’t. How could he? When the director decided to choose his own son, his own son for the part! Christian just stood there, motionless as the director called out the name of his son. Sure...he was one of the finalists but no... Christian wanted, needed it more than anything.

He throws his gym bag aggressively on the floor and kicks it across the room cursing out load, slightly hitting Julie’s bare feet. He slams the door behind him and begins to tear off all the rubber bands and bobby bins he had inserted to keep his hair from falling onto his face. He bites onto them as he takes off his shoes frustrated, and also throws them across the room. Julie jumps, a little worried at his current condition. He looks up from the ground embarrassed, finally realising he’s not the only one in the room.

“Sorry...I didn’t know that...” He walks towards her and hurriedly grabs his bag and rushes to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Julie once again jumps, startled.

Her heart is racing, but she’s not sure whether its because of what she just witnessed or the fact that for the first time, she isn’t alone in the apartment. He is there with her. She smiles shyly, her cheeks going a bit red. She continues to make sandwiches and soon after, he comes out of the bathroom, ruffling his shoulder length black hair with a towel. He is wearing a tight white t-shirt and the form of his chest is clearly visible. Julie stares at him slightly surprised, she’s never realised how unbelievably attractive he is.

She is caught staring at him as he looks up at her. His green eyes still angry, he looks her up and down. She is taken a back, embarrassed realising the pink florescent towel still wrapped around her hair and the huge loose white t-shirt just reaching her mid thighs. She blushes, slightly tugging at her t-shirt and then rearranging her glasses. Christian turns around, his broad back facing Julie. She begins to panic, thinking he’s about to leave again. Just for one night, she doesn’t want to feel so alone, she wants to talk, have a laugh, get to know him.

“Do you want a sandwich? I’m making one, they’re really good.”

“I’m not hungry” He snaps back. He is lying, and his stomach growling is the evidence. Julie realises and sighs knowing she’s going to make him one anyway. She prepares him one and puts it in the fridge, hoping he will eat it if she leaves the room.

As she’s in her bed room, putting on some cycling pants as to remove some of her embarrassment, Christian slowly makes his way to the fridge. He sees the sandwich on the top shelf, neatly prepared as if he was living back home with his mom again. He smiles sadly, feeling guilty for acting so harsh towards Julie. He too also wondered what she was like as a person. He almost feels a little ashamed for not trying to do so before, she does live with him after all. He breathes in his food, enjoying every single bite of it.

She renters the kitchen, almost giggling at the site of him sitting on the countertop grovelling at his sandwich. He turns to look at her, mayo smudged on the side of is mouth. She signals it to him and he wipes it off chuckling slightly. Julie reaches for a chair at the kitchen table and sits down, her phone in her hand. She’s not doing anything on it, but she silently hopes that if she’s in the same room as him, something, anything will happen.

“You’ll catch a cold like that, you know.” Christian quickly states after taking his last bite. Julie looks up a little glad he said something.

“Oh yeah, I cant seem to find my hair dryer...ill make sure to dry it with a towel soon”

“Wait, wait, I have one let me get it” He jumps off the counter top gracefully and moves to his room, soon after coming out with it. He plugs it in one of the kitchen sockets.

“Here, um...may I?” He gestures at her pink towel. She blushes realising he’s offering to dry her hair. She didn’t expect this at all. She nods, slightly smiling. He rests on the edge of the table as he faces her. He removes the towel and lets it rest on her shoulders, as he moves her curtain bangs away from her face. He chuckles slightly seeing the shy expression her face. He moves behind her and begins to brush her hair gently.

“This is the first time you and me have ever spent any time together” Julie abruptly says, hoping he cant see her smiling. He stops slightly hearing those words, then continues to brush her hair, agreeing.

“Ye, it seems so” He finishes brushing her hair and begins to dry it. He runs his fingers through her long curly hair and smiles realising its not just brown, there are hints of reds in there too.

“You’ve got some nice hair” He complements her

“I could say the same to you” She jokingly says, but him knowing she means it.

When he’s done drying, he touches her hair, realising how warm and soft it feels. He blushes slightly, not sure why he’s doing this in the first place. Is it because he ate her sandwich? Unconsciously he begins to plat her hair. She notices, yet doesn’t stop him. He finishes, surprised that he actually remembered how to do so. He used to plat his little sisters’ hair while growing up.

“Huh, not bad for a guy” Julie teasingly says as she goes to the bathroom to take a better look. He follows right after her. She stares at her reflection, inspecting her new hairstyle. She giggles, she likes it a lot.

“How did you get so good?” She asks as he enters the bathroom. He stands right behind her, his hands placed on the sink right beside her arms. She realises this and turns slightly red. Her heart begins to pick up in speed and for a second she believes that it may explode. She tries to avoid looking in the mirror, but as he speaks she cant help but look at his reflection.

“I grew up with two little sisters, they loved it when I played with their hair.” He replies grinning. She smiles politely, but deep down she screams, her whole body feeling excited.

“You’re much nicer than I thought” I mumble.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks, tilting his head to the side with a boyish grin splattered all over his face. Julie slowly turns around to face him, their hips suddenly touching. They stare at each other intensely, Christian a little surprised at her bold move. Julie gives him a smile and he blushes, unable to control the redness returning to his cheeks.

“Well...from what I witnessed before...” She replies, her eye brows rising.

“Listen...Julie, I-I am really sorry about before, I’m not all that great with-”

“Its okay Chris.” Julie whispers, her smile becoming more seductive by the second.

Christian stares at Julie’s eyes, a beautiful greenish brown colour. His eyes move across her face, analysing all the freckles on her rosy full cheeks and lastly her pink glossy lips. He quickly looks back up at her eyes, only to realise she’s looking at his lips. Its an invitation, he knows this, or at least he hopes so. Ever so slightly he moves his body closer to hers, pushing her against the sink, their hips and chest on one another. She doesn’t push him back, Christian is relieved. Julie’s mouth opens slightly, a quite little gasp coming out as she moves her hands slowly up his chest to his neck. Her hands are cold, but the way Christian feels them on his skin, is sensational.

Julie cant even believe what is happening, or what is just about to. All she knows is that she hasn’t been touched like this in a long time and doesn’t want it to stop here. And Christian, he just wants to feel wanted, he’s curious, he wants to know how her lips feel. He kisses her and they do for several seconds. They both cannot contain the electricity they have created between them. Julie’s hands are no longer cold as they run through his soft hair and Christian, not seeming to get enough of her, slides his hands underneath her thighs, her legs wrapping around his waist, as he carries her towards the kitchen and plops her on to the table.
She removes her lips from his, trying to catch her breath and steady her heart but its no use. Christian realises this and kisses her again, this time more slowly and softly on her bare neck. She moans slightly as he places his hands on her thighs, spreading them apart, then sliding his hands across her inner thighs. He notices her trying to stop herself from enjoying this and laughs slightly in her ear whispering: “You like that, don’t you?” She looks at him, both their fiery and passionate eyes staring at each other intensely. Christian once again smiles at her, cursing on the inside. How did he never just stop and take the bloody time to realise that he had this fucking beautiful woman sleeping right across his room.

Julie kisses him, not ready to stop just yet. She moves her cold finger tips under his white t-shirt and starts to remove it. She is still unsure whether if this is the right thing to do, but she’s so damn curious to feel his chest. Christian chuckles as he helps her remove it. They stare at each other once again. Julie viewing his beautifully built chest, her hands pressing on his hot skin and gliding their way down to the rim of his sweat pants. He breathes heavily all through this and this time Julie giggles, whispering “Cat got your tongue?” He pushes himself towards her and they kiss once more, before Julie stops him gently. She is embarrassed, shy and at the same time a bit confused as how they got here. He stares at her, a worried expression painted across his face.

“Is everything all right? Did I do something wrong-”

“No, no, you did nothing wrong. Trust me I-I liked that...” She blushes embarrassed.

“Then...?” He asks impatiently, all he wants to do is wrap his arms around her.

“I just feel a little overwhelmed, sorry” She apologises realising she could have just ruined everything with him.

“Hey, hey, its okay, no need for that. Anyway your right...its a little to soon for all...this” He laughs awkwardly. She smiles, feeling a little relieved that he somehow feels the same way.

“I should head to bed...I’ve got, um...work” she says shyly as she points to her bedroom. He steps forward, he wants to ask something, she knows it.

“Ye, I’ve got dance too. Listen, um...” He’s scrambling for words; he doesn’t want to be left alone tonight. He cant stand to go to bed feeling unwanted and angry again.

“Its cold tonight, isn’t it?” Julie says suggestively. He looks at her confused and replies

“Yeah, this apartment isn’t the warmest”

“I don’t really want to feel cold in bed tonight” Julie says, hoping he understands her. He looks at her surprised and then smiles blushing. She reaches out her hand for him to take and as he does the two of them disappear in her bedroom.

They sleep holding each other that night, only sleeping; the two not really sure what will happen in the morning.