Faking Me - l.h. AU

Chapter Eleven

Last day of break. Why.

Why
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"What do you mean with that?"

"Um- well that. If you are free to go grab something to eat or nah... I mean, like, if you're busy, like, it's fine..."

My heart was nearly going out of my chest.

"... like, Ashton and Calum told me to invite you..."

Oh
.
"... even Michael is going..."

OH.

"... but I know how reluctant you are about people but-"

"Luke, shut up. It's okay, I am free tomorrow. See you, then."

Maybe I closed my door too fast and too loud on him. Maybe.

The scene played out in my head like a movie left on like background noise. Once in a while I'd be consumed by it, wondering why I did it, agree, and why I felt disappointed; I would try to shake off the thoughts and just let it go, I already said yes, I already had a lunch group, I already lost the war I dumbly thought I was winning this whole time.

I can't win in this game. This twisted contest with myself where I had to endure everything I went through alone, afraid of what? Pity? Fuck them.

Fuck them all.

And with those thoughts in my head I got dressed. Jeans, boots and sweater, not really impressive, but I'm not that impressive of a person.

Stepping out of the elevator I faced a pretty impressive sight, whatsoever.

"Lemme' guess... going for a Christian Grey?" I said, trying hard not to laugh at Steve, as it appeared like he was -for some reason- trying hard.

"You got it, Cece-boo" Steve said, obviously proud on this new look of his, fixing his tie for the effect. Carrying a cheap grey almost shiny suit and his hair gelled back, I guessed trying to give that 'I'm so fancy' vibe. "Chicks dig the whole 'I mistreat you but I have lots of money' look, you know? I watched the movie three times to get this right."

"Good to know you did your research." I chuckled, making my way around the desk to the glass door. "I'm going out with Luke. See you later, S."

I was almost out when he called my name, almost giving me a déjà vu. "You aren't smoking as much. I'm glad" Steve said behind me, making me turn around to meet his smile. He was right, I haven't had a cigarette in almost two weeks and the pack still sat at the bottom of my backpack, probably crumbled by the books.

"You're right." I smiled back at him, "Thanks."

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"I decided to stop it." I said, when the car got to a stop in the diner's parking lot.

Luke picked me up and told me the plan to go grab a kind of late lunch and hang out with his old friends and Michael. The anxiety was killing me.

"What do you mean with it?" He said, sudden concern in his eyes.

"I mean, this whole thing with being everyone's but nobody's friend. I'm done." I said, looking straight ahead, to the unknown diner in front of us.

"What made you change your mind?" Luke looked at me instead, I could see his smile with the corner of my eye.

"Tiredness. Me. You." I answered, turning to look at him. "You made me realize I don't need them, not now at least."