The British Panda Plushie

A 47 year old straight, british, white man

I am a panda. Sadly.

Yes, I know, a literate panda is very strange.

Well, i'm not an actual panda, i'm a panda inspired 'plushie'.

I'm approximately six inches in length, five inches across the head and three across the body with a five inch wingspan. I want to make sure my proper dimensions are written down in case I get a tear or loose a limb. That way I dont come out of surgery as some sort of deformed cyborg. That would be, as Pleaklin likes to call it, 'total shit'.

Pleaklin (her proper name is Sophie but i decided that Pleaklin fits better) is my purchaser and dear friend. She's a human yes, around seventeen years old I presume although I haven't formerly asked her yet.
Pleaklin said she purchased me from a site called the Amazon a couple of weeks ago. I was originally manufactured in the great United Kingdom! That explains my accent although I only spent a brief time in a London manufacturing facility.

I guess that's the reason behind my lack of British slang, ha!

Well, I guess whoever is reading this is wondering how a british panda plushie is typing, and so beautifully. Your guess is as good as mine! In all honesty I have no clue as to how I came to be conscious.

Pleaklin was very accepting and excited when she found out I could speak and think autonomously. She says it's possible that I am some sort of being that possessed this soft, fluffy body.

I doubt that I am a demon or any sort of malicious spirit, even if I do have my morally grey moments, but I guess the fallen soul of an amazon shipment worker isn't too far fetched for a reason behind my existence.

I personally believe that I am a god reincarnate, although I haven't told Pleaklin that.

Pleaklin says I have the mentality of a forty-seven year old straight british white man. I'm not entirely sure that that's a compliment. It may be slightly backhanded but it also makes me the plushie version of Sherlock Holmes due to my expert deductive reasoning skills! Granted, Benedict Cumberbatch's Holmes was probably queer but, alas, a panda can dream.

Anyways, Pleaklin says she has big news to tell me so I best go find her.

Au revoir mes amies! (see, I am also bilingual)
- Fredrick, the british panda plushie (i've accepted this title)