Sweet Thang [COMPLETE]

Unappreciated

Suzette

Today was the big day. After meeting my surgeon and attending multiple check ups with my doctors for an entire month, the closest they were able to get me in the book to have the surgery to remove this tumor was today. I was having an alright morning, but somehow both of the twins had managed to work on my nerves already. Since telling my family about my tumor, they'd been treating me like a baby and I wasn't here for it at all. I was touched that they cared so much, but sometimes I needed my space. I ain't want nobody feeling bad for me or worrying about me, especially not my kids because that was my job. Shayne wanted to drive me in today but since I knew it would probably be a while before I was able to get behind the wheel again, I wanted to drive to the hospital myself. On a more better note though, I was so looking forward to not having to deal with those crazy ass headaches and everything that came with them.

But I was still a little nervous about going under the knife.

"You ready, Mama?" Shakur reached across the console to hold my hand as I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. I nodded as I put the car in park by the door. "Yeah, I am," I said while unbuckling my seatbelt and turning to look at Shayne who was typing away on that phone of hers. "Who you talkin' to?" I asked and she looked up, forcing a smile on her face.

"Nobody, Mama. Can we pray please?" I took a deep breath and nodded as she got Zaya out of her booster seat. Zaya and Shayne both reached up to lay their hands on mine and Shakur's shoulders.

Shakur spoke up, "Can I pray?" My eyes shot open and I looked at my son. "Is you about to play?" I asked.

"Naw Mama. I wanna pray for real." He squeezed my hand.

"Ight, gone."

"Lord, if I haven't said it enough I want to say again thank you for keeping my mother here with us. Thank you for the strength you've given her to keep pressing forward and keep smiling even on the days when smiling hurt." Lord I'm finna cry, I shook my head.

"Thank you for the woman that she is, and the love she gives all of us. I know I ain't always been right God, but I know if there's anyone in this world who's always sought you it's my Mama. So today I ask that you continue to cover her with your grace and mercy. Lord today I trust in your power and your miraculous hand and I know that you'll bring my mother out of this surgery healthy. I know it's probably going to be a long road to recovery, so even if you can't make it easy on us, give us the will to care for our mother with compassion in our hearts. Continue to give Mama the same strength I've watched her use through the years to come out of this with hope knowing that you won't ever leave her side."

Shayne cut her brother off, "God please watch, direct, and bless the hands of every staff member that comes in contact with my Mama inside that hospital God." My son kissed my hand. "Bless the hands of the surgeon God that they're accurate. Touch his eyes so that they are clear. And touch his mind Lord, that it be alert. Everyone who's hands we are placing our mom in today— God, order their steps. From the technicians in the operating room, to the nurses that we are trusting to take care of her. In Jesus name... amen."

"Oh my God, thank you," I said as tears flew down my face and I pulled my son into a long hug across the console. "Don't cry Mama." Shakur rubbed my back.

"You got this surgery in the bag. You comin' outta there on ten toes, I know it." I pulled away and got myself together and we headed inside where I signed in and we sat in the waiting room. Sammy called my phone and I fought myself on whether I wanted to answer or not. I gave in, answering just a few rings in.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, honey. Are you alone?"

"Naw, I'm at the hospital with Shakur, Shayne, and Zay."