There was once a lonely ugly boy named Enoch. He was so sad, that he went for a walk by the fog-invaded sea-side, searching for an answer to his desolation and sadness. As he looked out onto the bay, he saw a blurry green figure hunched on a faraway log. Curiosity enthralled him as he inched his way over to the mysterious green mass, and it became clearer. It was........ A giant green man? Was it the green giant that made all of those vegetables? No, this was a lighter shade of green, it couldn't be him... Also a bit too barrel-like. He walked up behind this green man and noticed he had moist, enormous, tube-like ears, and tapped him on one of his luxuriously broad, verde shoulders. He turned with a sexy, low, raspy, grunt. It was shrek! His ex! How couldn't he have known?! "Enoch..." He started. "I... I need to confess something..." he nervously twiddled his thumbs and stared at his leathery shoes. Enoch was dumbstruck, shocked that he both didn't realize it was Shrek AND that he was before him, talking. "Uh... By all means, go on!" Enoch stuttered. "Heh... You always used to say that... 'by all means.' So innocent and sweet." Shrek mumbled absentmindedly as he brushed the hair from Enoch's fair face.
"Oh! Sorry... Force of habit!" Shrek exclaimed as his cheeks turned a darker shade of green... "adorable..." Enoch thought with amusement. "Anyway..." Shrek trailed off in thought. "I always pictured this happening again, and always wondered what to say and I just... I'll get straight to the point." He said firmly. "I'm sorry for how I treated you, how I yelled at you before we... You know, split up and I uh... I was stupid and wasn't thinking and was in a bad place and couldn't think- couldn't remember why I felt the way I did whenever you glided into the same room as me... Especially the bedroom... I wasn't thinking, and I have no excuse for what I did to you and you have every right to bash my head in, but I still love you, and I'm begging you to reconsider... please, you were all I had, laddy." Shrek finished. Enoch stood and looked out into the waves, remembering the words so violently thrown at him a month ago, remembering being plunged into a deep pool of sorrow and despair, utter hopelessness and heartache. Could he face it again? Could he bravely face and bear the pain? He looked deeply into the swampy eyes of shrek, and the butterflies seemed to overtake his insides. Shrek was worth it, he concluded. Then Enoch knew, that if it wasn't Shrek, it was loneliness forever. It was an easy decision. "Shrek!" Enoch sobbed, and ran into his beefy arms.
"OI LADDY!!!" Shrek shrieked, gently holding the delicate Enoch close to his breasts. He soothed Enoch's hair and looked tenderly into his oceanic eyes, and ferociously kissed him on his rosy lips with his lime-colored ones, letting the passion within them become exhilarated. He held him there for a minute, and tilted Enoch's head back to gaze at his face once more.
It was then that Enoch fueled his rage held within his heart, and swept Shrek off the ground. "Enoch?! What are you-?!" And Enoch chucked Shrek into the stormy gray ocean. Enoch laughed as he saw his green blood splatter on the jagged rocks like day-old spinach. Loneliness was better than Shrek, after everything he's ever done to him. Enoch laid down on the sand and watched the brewing clouds above with a peace and contentment he hadn't felt in years. He closed his eyes and his breathing slowed as a single, happy tear rolled down his porcelain cheek. There, Enoch died in peace, and was happy.
The end
