Dream of 19/01/20 - Crush on Seonghwa

Dream of 19/01/20

I dreamed of Seonghwa last night. I think it's the third time this has happened and like the previous times, I can't stop thinking about it...

Seonghwa was so sweet to me, it made me blush and gave me butterflies in my stomach. I don't dream about him very often, but every time I do, it's very sweet and really realistic, in the sense that I really feel like he's in front of me.

In my dream, I was in a foreign place, a place that strongly resembled a small town in Australia, and I stumbled upon the members of Ateez walking around. I don't remember how or why, but they ended up offering me to join them in their day of sightseeing, an offer I accepted straight away although I was a bit embarrassed and dying inside.

I tried to walk a little slower right away in order to be at the back of the group where Seonghwa was, walking quietly in his corner. I didn't want to disturb him or look strange, so I chose to just walk silently beside him, watching what was going on all around me. We ended up talking, not very comfortably at first to be honest. The group continued to walk for what seemed like hours, and then we stopped at a park to take pictures and rest a bit. The members were quick to go and sit on the few benches available. Seeing no more room, I went to sit a little further on a small stone ledge at ground level. Being able to sit down and stretch my legs was a real joy because walking so much with sore muscles plus the fact that I hadn't moved so much in a while was seriously starting to take its toll on me. Part of me wanted to go talk to them, but on the other hand I wanted to let them rest. So I just leaned on my arms, palms down in the grass, and let my head fall back, enjoying the last rays of sunshine threatened by small gray clouds.

I had become so disconnected from my surroundings that I didn't hear someone sitting beside me. It was only when I heard a slight throat clearing that I opened my eyes and was startled by the sight of Seonghwa, standing a few inches away from me (I must have lost some of my life expectancy at that moment considering how much my heart tightened). My reaction made him smile (the kind of smile that is a bit mocking but not mean). I asked him what he was doing there instead of spending time with the others, to which he replied that he was curious and wanted us to talk more. This time, it was me who gave him a big smile. He wanted to talk to me, even though I had nothing to do there... I couldn't believe my ears. We finally started to talk about everything and nothing, about him, about me, about the weather, about I don't even know what, under the stares of the other members who must have been asking themselves some questions.

I couldn't help but stare at him as he spoke, look away for a few seconds, embarrassed, then look at him again. He was gorgeous. He was also looking at me straight in the eyes, but never looked away even just for a brief moment. I was brave enough to hold his gaze and smile without showing that I was melting inside. But my bravery sometimes reached its limit, which seemed to amuse him.

After talking for what seemed like an eternity, the others seemed to have decided to get up and leave, signaling us to do the same. Seonghwa stood up with a disconcerting ease considering how hard it was for me to do so. My legs wouldn't listen to me. He realized it quite quickly and held out his hand to help me get up. I felt like I was stuck in Bambi's body when I finally stood up on my feet. Seeing the first members already a few steps ahead of us, we hurried to follow them without further delay. However, what was bound to happen happened. I was really struggling to walk properly and keep up with the others. My legs were failing me. I was not unfamiliar with this kind of situation. I used to have trouble getting my legs up the stairs in the morning when I went to class (the accumulated fatigue as well as the heels, the weight of the shoes, my usual speed and my regular muscle soreness made my legs unresponsive from time to time). Once again, super-Seonghwa to the rescue. He was very observant and noticed how I was struggling. He thus slowed down his pace to match mine, took my left arm and put it around his neck, and put his other hand on my right hip, telling me I could lean on him. I didn't dare to, but the strength with which he supported me was reassuring, and we ended up walking like that until our next destination.