Taken Away

Chapter One

I sighed before picking up the phone because someone's calling me. It was Jemma, she's my friend but I'm not comfortable with her. Like to anyone else.

"Hey! Finally, the last person answered my call! By the way, would you like to come with us? Let's hangout together with Abigail and Ivee."

The last person. I laughed mentally. Of course I am the last person she would call, if not, she would definitely forgot to invite me. So instead of thinking negative thoughts, I should be greatful because she invited me, still.

"I'll go tell grandma later. Where do we go?" I asked calmly. I should tell it to my momma, no matter what.

I heard her chuckles on the line. Does she find me telling my grandma anything i do was laughable?

"Gosh! Carolina, you're 27, why do you still need to tell your grandmother about this?" She teases me.

I sighed, I made sure that she would clearly hear my sigh. "I think there's nothing wrong about that?"

"Yeah, yeah. Anyways we're going out of town, Baguio." I just agreed. She ended the call and I goes back with what I'm doing.

These past years, I always feel emptiness. I don't find living was fun anymore, I can't enjoy this. Living was hell, for me. I suffer a lot from depression and anxiety, but I never go to an psychiatrist. I always tell myself that it was okay and I'll go through this.

I know that I should be living the life, make things that makes me feel happiness again, but I just can't. Life was wonderful and colorful, they say, but it was colorless for me.

I sat at my bed and stares nowhere.

I'm tired.

Living was tiring, so many problems and traumatic events that you should face, alone.

I just realized that at this moment, I'm crying silently. I always end up crying when I'm thinking about how fucked up my life is.

I turned my gaze at the table beside my bed, there was a picture of me and my momma. I'm 19 that time and I look happy, genuinely happiness are all over my face while hugging my grandma.

I took the picture and stares at it while crying and sobbing silently. I want my old self back, but I almost lost everyone that time. I'm greatful because momma was still here.

I'm still here because of my grandma, I made a promise to her, a year ago, that she won't see me die. I promised that to her, she made me. Because she saw how hurt I am, how was my life fall apart, but she's always there for me, she helped me. I love her, and I owe her a lot.

"Momma? Good evening my pretty Momma, did you already eat dinner?" I sweetly said when I entered her bedroom. She was already laying at her bed.

After my emotional breakdown, I found myself here. It's my routine after having a breakdown, I'll go here for momma's hug.

She sat at her bed when she saw me entered her room, she smiled sweetly at me. Her smile makes me wanna cry again. Just thinking that she would leave this planet is killing me inside. She's sick, but she doesn't want me to know. But I accidentally knew, and until now, she thinks that I don't know anything about her health.

"Momma already ate dinner. How about you, sweetheart?" She said with a low tone.

I sat beside her and hugged her. She's my comfort zone, just by her hug, my soul and mind were at peace.

"I'm fine, I'll eat dinner later. Or maybe not?" I laughed a bit before looking at her eyes carefully. I can clearly see her age by her face. She's really old.

I hope momma won't leave me, like my parents and former boyfriend did.

"You should..." She cough before continued talking. "You should eat, sweetheart."

I shrugged. "I've no appetite, Momma." Before she could even protest I opened the topic. "I would like to come with my friends, Momma. We're going out of town. Is it okay if I'll go with them? Are you okay here?" I held her hand and slightly massages it.

I should make sure that it was okay with my Momma that I'm going out with friends for a long time.

She agreed, as expected. She never stops me, if it was for my happiness. At that night, I slept at my Momma's room and it was so comfortable!

_

January/2022