Traingaze - Marina

Chapter 1

"Is this seat taken?"

Carina looked up from the book she was reading to see who was speaking with an American accent. A blonde woman with short curly hair looked at her with a warm smile. Carina forced back a smile and went back to her book.

"No it isn't," a woman with a thick Italian accent answered on Carina's behalf. "Although, we do we have assigned seating."

"I know! It's just that the guys I was sitting by over there were being a little weird and-"

"You can sit with us," Carina said not looking up from her book.

"Thank you so much!" Maya exclaimed as she brought her stuff over and sat across from Carina. "I'm Maya by the way."

"Gabriella," the woman sitting next to Carina smiled. Maya waited for Carina to say something but she didn't. "This is my friend, Carina. Clearly very lost in that book," Gabriella joked to mask the awkwardness in the air.

"That's okay I'm the same way when it comes to reading," Maya laughed. "Although, I don't think I would pick up Frankenstein by Mary Shelley to read on a train ride home," Maya joked.

"Why?" Carina asked looking up from her book. She had an impassive look on her face that made Maya curious as to why she seemed so distant.

"It has a very dark tone to it. I love romance books. More of a Jane Austen kinda girl," Maya smiled.

"On the contrary, there are parts in this book that describe love in a way I haven't read before," Carina challenged Maya.

"That's an interesting take. How so?" Carina put in her bookmark and then flipped through her annotations of the book until she landed on a particular one. She read a small part from the book, "There was a show of gratitude and worship in his attachment to my mother, differing wholly from the doating fondness of age, for it was inspired by reverence for her virtues, and a desire to be the means of, in some degree, recompensing her for the sorrows she had endured, but which gave inexpressible grace to his behavior to her."

Maya wasn't sure how to respond. For someone who was a fan of classic literature, she had never viewed Frankenstein through that scope. Carina's ability to challenge her understanding of the book further intrigued Maya. There was substance to this woman who seemed so cold when she spoke, but at a first glance from a distance, seemed incredibly warm.

"So you're a romantic?" Maya asked. Carina scoffed and responded, "Far from it."

"Then why would you make a note of that sentence in the book?" Maya asked this time putting Carina on the spot. Carina studied the woman in front of her. Wondering whether she was worth sharing something so personal with.

"I'm going to go use the restroom," Gabriella said pulling Carina out of her thoughts.

"I just really liked the writing," Carina responded.

"Hmm," Maya replied raising an eyebrow.

"What?" Carina asked.

"I don't believe you," Maya said with a smirk. "That sentence may not make me think you're into what some would describe as conventional romance, but you still believe in love. A type of love that will support you through your lows and take care of you when you need it most. The love will be a way for life to repay you for some of the hurdles it has thrown your way." Carina felt like Maya could see a part of her that she kept locked away and out of sight from others. She felt the need to make this stop right away.

"I don't need anyone to take care of me. I'm quite self-sufficient. If you want a quote from this book that describes how I feel about life, why don't I share this?" Carina asked and Maya gestured for her to go on even though she knew Carina was lying. "It is so long before the mind can persuade itself that she, whom we saw every day, and whose very experience appeared a part of our own, can have departed forever - that the brightness of a beloved eye can have been extinguished, and the sound of a voice so familiar, and dear to the ear, can be hushed, never more to be heard. These are the reflections of the first days; but when the lapse of time proves the reality of the evil, then the actual bitterness of grief commences." Carina looked out the window to avoid looking at the stranger in front of her. She had shared more with this woman than she had with anyone around her.

"Who did you lose?" Maya asked softly. Carina continued to look out the window and replied, "My brother. Andrea. 1 year ago today." Carina could feel the familiar sting in her eyes she had anytime she mentioned his name. Her best friend that she shared every part of her life with was here one day and gone the next. The world went from feeling whole to empty in a matter of seconds after he was gone.

"I'm sorry," Maya said.

"Thank you," Carina responded and went back to reading her book. It was clear that the conversation between the two of them was over.

"What did I miss?" Gabriella asked returning from the restroom. Carina hoped that Maya wouldn't disclose anything she had just shared.

"Your friend proved me wrong," Maya laughed. "Apparently I need to read Frankenstein again." Carina didn't say it, but she appreciated that Maya had kept their conversation to herself.

"So are you visiting friends or something?" Gabriella asked.

"I'm actually studying at the University of Milan this year. I study art history," Maya replied.

"Oh that's the same university we go to for medical school!" Gabriella exclaimed. Carina finally put her book away because she couldn't focus over their conversations.

"No way! I don't know anyone here, and I can only speak/understand English so I've been pretty worried," Maya said.

"We got you covered! First tip, don't call it the University of Milan," Gabriella joked making Maya laugh. "Where are you staying?"

"Everything is super expensive so I only have a small room in an airbnb. I was planning on searching for an apartment once I actually got to Milan." Maya felt stressed from remembering her housing situation, and Carina could tell by the look on her face.

"Is it in a safe area?" Carina asked. Maya observed how Carina didn't say anything more than she needed to. She didn't care to make any small talk.

"I'm not sure," Maya replied. "I don't really know much about where I'm staying." Carina looked at her and thought long and hard about what she was going to say next, but Gabriella already jumped the gun.

"Carina, you're looking for a roommate, right?" Maya looked at Carina who once again had the same impassive expression on her face making her think that the brunette definitely didn't want to offer a room to her.

"No, that's okay! I can figure something out," Maya said quickly. Carina remained silent and looked back out the window again. The room Maya would be occupying was the room she had planned her brother would stay in when he came to visit her. It had been a year, but she still wasn't ready to let someone take his room. Sometimes it felt like he was never gone when she would walk by the room. She could feel the excitement she had when she first got the apartment and specifically chose it because her brother would've loved it. She had taken more time decorating his room than her own. Carina hadn't touched anything in it after her brother died. She hadn't even taken a step inside the room. She would simply walk past it. But it was time to try to let go.

"You can stay with me until you find an apartment," Carina said surprising Maya. Gabriella felt disappointed that she didn't ask the blonde to simply move in for the year, but she knew that Carina even offering this was a big step for her.

"Really?" Maya asked. "That means a lot, Carina." Carina smiled at her. She didn't know the blonde too well, but from the very brief conversation they had, Carina liked her. Not many people would have kept what Carina told them to themselves. This woman though was receptive and understanding which Carina felt most people lacked. There was a warmth to her that Carina recognized she once had. She reminded her of all the things Carina used to be - down to a Jane Austen lover.

Maya smiled back at Carina, this time feeling butterflies in her stomach. This was the first genuine smile the brunette had given her, and it made Maya wonder what cards the woman sitting across from her in this train was dealt with that made her sorrow mask the hints of happiness that rarely appeared on her face.

A/N: Okay so this story is a total 180 from the previous one I wrote. I'm still trying to figure out which direction I'm taking it, but I think a good word to describe the relationship I want Carina and Maya to have in this story is - soft. Take that however you want haha. I don't want it to seem like it'll be a journey of Maya fixing Carina. Rather, a journey of Maya helping Carina fall back in love with the things she once used to enjoy and heal. Hope you like it! Happy New Year!