Lovesick on Siwicki

Chapter 3: Did I Meet An Internet Celebrity?

When I get back to my dorm room, I throw my apron and visor in the hamper and wash the smell of yeast and pepperoni off of me. I try to start some homework over underwater acoustic pollution, but my eyes keep veering off the page and onto my bed. I decide to FaceTime Natalie. She's going to school in San Francisco, and I haven't seen her since summer break. Her laugh is contagious, and I need a boost.

"What's up?" She answers happily while eating popcorn.

"Everything is just peachy." I give a big, sarcastic smile and thumbs up. She rolls her eyes.

"Same old dissatisfaction with your job, program choice, and love life?" She smiles with her perfect teeth. Natalie knows me better than pretty much anyone. I don't have many other friends.

"Hey, I'm perfectly content with my singleness." I cross my arms and smirk.

"Yeah, right. And I totally didn't have sex with my RA yesterday." She winks sarcastically.

"My god, Nat." I laugh and shake my head. "Why can't I be the wild friend for once? Your life is infinitely more interesting."

"Come on, don't say that!" (Even though it's true.) "Everything will work out. Look, life is too short to do things you don't want to do. Sick of Fired Pie? Quit! Sick of science? Change majors!" Her voice was loud at this point. I couldn't imagine changing up everything now. What other path would I even go down? Why didn't I choose a plan B? A sigh escapes my lips.

"I don't know, but if I can't find a good job or internship here, or another teacher like Mr. Simons to motivate me, then I may consider moving back home." This is the first time I've spoken those words aloud. They've been in the back of my mind for a month, though. "I just don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'm confused." My eyes start to get a little wet.

"Awe, Jackie. We're still young! It's normal to feel this way! I gotta go study my script, but I'll send you something to cheer you up, okay? Love you!" She smiled sincerely.

"Love you too." I tried to smile the discontent away as I hit the red button.

My phone dings with a text from her. "These vids have been making me lol! I can't stop watching. Goodnight <3." There are two video links from a YouTuber named Garrett Watts. Natalie would often watch YouTube when we'd hang out almost every day. I'd usually be doing homework, but I'd catch glimpses or she'd give me a basic synopsis.

As I begin to watch a video called "Overnight in a Haunted Ice Cream Shop!," I recognize the tall guy with glasses from a series Natalie used to be invested in. It was by Shane Dawson and Jeffree Star. I was always more interested in the side characters. That is, when I actually paid attention to Nat's screen.

A smile creeps onto my face as I forget about the world around me and become immersed in the chaotic energy of the video. This is the boost I needed. It reminds me of the simpler times with Nat in my Bakersfield bedroom. My eyes still feel wet, but she is right; everything will work out. Wait a minute...

I rewind by a few seconds and see the cute, redhead guy from tonight! I've only seen one "celebrity" since living in L.A. (Tyler, the Creator). I know they're regular people just like me. But he said my name, and I'm reminded of his... Andrew. I don't know; I can't help but feel special. My very sensitive and emotional mother would call this a sign.

I click on the other links I was sent and learn that these two guys recently started a podcast called "Sweet Boys." Their channel currently only has one episode posted; it's that new. Natalie knows I love podcasts, but comedy isn't usually my go-to genre. Nonetheless, I click on it and wrap my blanket around my shoulders.

For the first time in a while, I don't feel so lonely. Mind you, I don't have siblings, roommates, or coworkers to relate to. My classmates are mostly douchey guys that want to get in your pants. I even considered giving one of them a chance just to feel something, but decided against it. Despite being kind of introverted and brainy, I still believe true love exists. I hope I'm lucky enough to find it, but who am I kidding? I've never had a real boyfriend. Someone I felt truly in love with and attracted to. I'm starting to think that maybe I never will. But, Nat is right in that we're still young.

Anyway, hearing Garrett and Andrew joke around makes me feel like I'm hanging out with two lifelong friends. My eyes become heavy and I drift off to sleep listening to their energetic voices. I may have just found laughs even more contagious than Natalie's.