Influence (GirlXGirl)

Chapter 20: The WHYPHY

I slump down my bed after a long, torturing hour on the plane with Stephanie. I swear I've never been so uncomfortable in my life, I mean, her appearance was lovely, but I was just too awkward to be so close to her.

When she was sleeping, her head fell to my shoulders, making my body tense by the touch. I tried not to move so much as not wake her up, even if I wanted to pee so badly.

But parted from my dad was the hardest part. The other me feel so relieved to leave, yet I feel so bad to leave him alone. I recalled what Brooklyn said about my dad's habit getting worse because he was alone and I wasn't there to take care of him. Sure he was giving me a hard time, but I have my responsibility to take care of his unmanaged self.

He must have been through a lost identity crisis. The person taking care of him left and knowing that he needed me as much as I needed him... Ah fuck. I don't understand why I think so much about the person who's abused me for years. Especially he's trying to change, and I shouldn't be thinking about it too much, should I?

Every time I think about my dad... I feel guilty. Why? Why am I guilty? Did he abuse me because of me? Because of my rebellious nature or because he's too depressed?

I was so deep in my thought that I didn't realize Stephanie and Simon was already knocking on my door, "One second!" I told them.

I've asked them to my dorm to check out the new drug that Elijah and his gang have discovered. As much as I want to stay away from drugs, I need to know what I am dealing with.

Before opening the door, I look at the mirror to check myself. My hair was messy, and my eyes were teary. It's not shocking to see my eyes tearful because I'm aware of how stressful it is to think a little about my dad.

"I thought you chickened out again," Simon said.

"No, sorry. Come in," after hugging Simon because I know he missed me. They made their way into the room. Simon sits on my chair, and Stephanie sits on the bed, "did you bring the stuff?" I asked.

"Yep, here you go. The new drug, WhyPhy" he revealed two drugs from his pocket, "I only brought two because I'm not consuming this again. But, to be honest, It's good stuff. Don't tell Mason I said that."

I chuckled as I knew I was Mason's favourite- ah fuck I'm too attached to this dealing drugs shit.

"Are we just going to observe this?" Stephanie asked as she took one wrapper, "I mean, I don't know anything about drugs, not to mention I'm a business major, not science."

"I'm an engineering major, that makes the two of us..." I paused for a second, preparing for the worse reaction from Stephanie about my idea, "I was thinking of trying it."

"What?!" She dumbfounded.

"I just need to know what am I am dealing with," I confessed, "I know you want me to stop my bad habits, and I've been sober for weeks now, and it doesn't hurt to try one drug. I swear it's for learning purposes."

"See? You get it. I said that to you on the call," Simon said.

She pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance, "how did I be friends with you guys?  Fine, but I'm not consuming this."

"You sure? It's good, I swear," Simon said.

"That's the only reason you have?" she asked as she put her arm on her hips.

"That's fine," I lifted my hand, "you don't need to try it. I'll do it by myself. You can look after me."

I took the drugs from Simon, and he spoke to Stephanie, "I'm just saying if you change your mind. My hand is still open."