[✔] lightbulb » lee taeyong & na jaemin

ch. 39

finifugal: hating endings; of someone who tries to avoid or prolong the final moments of a story, relationship, or some other journey

» cho miyeon's pov // three years ago »

jaemin came into my house and took off his shoes. "this is a really nice home," he said, trying to make conversation.

"yeah. my parents loved it."

at the mention of my parents, his face darkened. "i'm sorry."

"jaemin." i turned around and faced him, putting my hands on his shoulders. "people die. it's okay. people move on."

he snaked his hands around my waist and pulled me close, so that his head rested on top of mine. "i know you don't want to talk about it anymore, but if you ever want to just vent, i'll be here for you."

i just kept silent and kept my head on his chest, too afraid to let him see the redness on my face. i could not, would not, allow jaemin to see my feelings for him. not again, when i had been rejected once already.

the memory played in my head while i was in his arms.

——

» miyeon's pov // three and a half years ago »

"jaemin! you're here!" i shouted. i was at the airport, about to go see my parents' funeral in tokyo.

he was just a couple of feet away from me, so i ran forward and gave him a hug. he smiled down at me.

"yeah, i am, huh? i just wanted to see you off, since i won't be seeing you for a while. i'm...i'm glad you're gonna be out of korea, even under these circumstances."

tears filled my eyes. "me too." the speakers called for people to start heading towards the departing area. "jaemin, i need to tell you something before i leave."

"and what's that?"

"i love y-"

jaemin shoved me away. "no, you don't. and even if you did, i don't deserve you anyway."

i stepped forward again and hugged him despite the stinging rejection. "no matter what you say, my feelings won't change."

he looked away from me. "go to your flight. they're leaving soon."

i bit my lip to ignore the pain from getting my feelings ignored again. "okay. goodbye, jaemin. i'll see you soon. maybe in a couple of weeks or a few months. i'm–i'm not sure."

simply nodding, he waved me off. this whole moment had felt bittersweet. i walked away from him, and right before turning the corner, i looked back to see jaemin crying.

nonetheless, i kept walking. there was no more comforting jaemin whenever i want. he didn't return my feelings and i had to respect that.

i mean, i should've known.