Were's the Love?

Chapter 18: A Startled Rabbit and A Wall of Urinals

Shit! Why did I run? She came all the way down here to talk to me and I ran from her like a startled little rabbit! Allison's going to hate me! I don't want her to hate me! That's why I've been avoiding her. I didn't want to scare her off or give her a reason to hate me! Now, she came all the way down to the gym and I ran from her!

What does she want to talk about? It must be something serious if she left her classroom during school hours to discuss it with me. She never leaves her room unless she has to. She doesn't even go to the cafeteria for lunch if she can help it. Did something happen to her during one of her earlier classes? She didn't look hurt, so I don't think anyone attacked her. Actually, she looked beautiful. She always looks beautiful.

That's why I had to run. She looked so gorgeous that I didn't trust myself.

Look, I don't have any trouble controlling myself around people. I'm not some horny dog with a perpetual boner who won't stop mounting anything that moves. I'm not worried about attacking Allison in that way. I would never force her to do anything she didn't want.

I just didn't want to scare her off.

I know she told me to be myself, but I still want to be on my best behavior around her. I can't jump on the couch next to her and cuddle every minute we're home. I can't constantly stare at her while she's grading papers or cooking dinner. It's creepy. I can't kiss her every time I see her, even though I want to. I'd end up dragging her to the bedroom every chance I got and she has other things that she likes to do besides me. I can't wrap her up in my arms and nuzzle into her neck while we're sleeping next to each other at night. She wouldn't like that. She likes having personal space. Especially while sleeping. I can't even tell her how beautiful I think she is every moment of every day. She likes quiet and she might think I'm lying.

I'm not though. I wouldn't lie to her about something like that.

After dinner with my family, I'll admit I was having trouble controlling the animal inside of me. She looked so sexy and beautiful. When I saw that red strap, I was ready to take her home and see what the rest of the bra looked like. But when I held her hand as I helped her into the car, I thought about how nice it felt to have her hold my hand inside the restaurant. She had never done that kind of thing before. She's usually so reserved and timid. But she held my hand and it was amazing! I never wanted her to let go.

Then, on the way home, I started thinking. What if I was misreading things? What if the reason she held my hand was because she was nervous? She was at dinner with a bunch of wolves. Well, wolves, a dog, and a tiger, but that's not what's really important. She was sitting at a table filled with predators! Even if she knew none of my family would hurt her, her animal instincts were probably telling her to fly away as fast as she could!

To make matters worse, I was sitting next to her, blissfully unaware of how uncomfortable she was and thinking how much I wanted to make her my next meal! I'm the worst!

That's why I had to avoid her. I didn't want to scare her any more than I already had!

I pace between the benches of the locker room, running my hand through my hair as I think about how to explain the reason I bolted. I don't want to lie, but I don't actually know why I ran. Do you think she'll be upset if I tell her that? If I tell her that I don't have an answer for her?

I know I'm out of time to think as I hear the clack of her heels in the narrow tunnel-like entrance into the locker room. Damn it!

"Jason?" her voice echoes sweetly against the tile walls and my heart beats a little faster when I hear her say my name. "Is everything alright?"