Influence (GirlXGirl)

Chapter 21: The Attached Feelings

Trigger Warning: Abusive Past.

~~~

"So... Any plans for today?" I asked her while sipping my coffee.

She sighed, "not really. I think David is still out of town with his parents," she looked at her coffee and whirled the cup, "how do you feel after Thanksgiving?"

I shrugged, "I feel bad after leaving my dad. I mean, he's a grown-up and living alone. My cousin said after leaving him for college, he was emotionally unstable and got worse. I can only hope that he's doing okay. Oh, and FYI, he apologized."

"Have you forgiven him?" She asked.

"I'm still thinking about it," I sighed, "It's hard to forgive someone that has ruined you for years. I'm grateful to hear that he regret it, and not many kids obtained that from their abusive parents. But, still..."

Telling my whole story to Stephanie has never been a problem, even after separating from each other. She's still someone I cared for. She just sat on the bed, waiting for me to continue.

"It's hard to forgive him, and it must be harder to forgive my mom," I added.

"Your mom?"

I nod, "What if she suddenly came into my life after years?"

"Do you want to meet her?"

I shrugged and slumped down on my seat, "No. I don't want to meet her. But I do want to ask how she feels after leaving me."

Will that even happen if my mom back to my life? I would be surprised but also not happy at the same time if I finally met her after years. I have to admit, I don't need her anymore. I thought maybe if my mom was back, my dad would stop hitting me. But in the end, my dad did it by himself. Not because I moved for college, and he's not here hitting me. Because he realized what he had done was terrible. I wouldn't go back to Utah if he's still the old him.

What reason does she have to come back to my life finally? I can do this without her; I don't need her again. When I thought we needed her, we didn't.

The more I grew up, the more I realized that my mom was selfish for leaving her fourteen-year-old girl because she was her husband's favorite.

She nodded sadly, "I can't imagine what you looked like in middle school when your mom left you..."

"I was a fuck up. That's all I can say," I chuckled.

"No, you're not," Stephanie said, "not to mention your ten-year-old brother. He's too young to go through that."

"He's not ten anymore," I sighed, "and if I can steal him from her, I would."

"Where do you think she is right now?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, she might be back in New York or... Somewhere."

"Oh and, thank you for persuading me to Thanksgiving," I added, and I gave her a warm smile, "I never thought I needed to meet my dad after a year and to have him apologize for what he had done."

She smiled back and took my hand, my body tense at the touch, and I tried to act normally, "you don't need to thank me. This is the start of your peaceful life."

Peaceful huh? Will I achieve the peaceful life that Stephanie's talking about? Do I even deserve it? I guess I still have a long way to go...

***

"We need to find this motherfucker!" Mason punches the board out of frustration.

The gang has been looking out for Elijah, and no one has seemed to find him.