How it sucks.. To be me.

Aged 3.

'CRASH!' I covered my ears trying to burrow down deep into my duvet trying to escape the shouting and cursing coming from downstairs... Mummy and Daddy were fighting again, atleast not in front of me this time. I think daddy smashed a plate, I hope he didn't hurt mummy.

I had been put to bed hours ago, kissed on the cheek by mummy and told to snuggle down to sleep. Not more than 10 minutes after she had put me to bed I heard their voices, starting off quiet eventually shouting and screaming.

"YOU DICK! YOU DIDNT THINK TO TELL ME ABOUT THIS LUCY YOU HAD BEEN SEEING?! GET THE FUCK OUT MY HOUSE" i heard mummy's exhausted voice shout.
"YOURE TELLING ME TO GET OUT THIS IS MY HOUSE YOU FUCKING BITCH" I heard daddy retaliate with.
"I NEED TO STAY IN THIS HOUSE TO LOOK AFTER ELLIE. SHE WOULD MUCH RATHER LIVE WITH HER MOTHER THAN HER CHEATING BASTARD FATHER!" mummy screamed.
"DONT BE RIDICULOUS SHE'D MUCH RATHER LIVE WITH ME" Daddy stated, it went on like this for ages, eventually I heard mummy calmly say "get the fuck out before I call the police" after that I didn't hear anything else, falling into a deep sleep.

The next morning mummy was shaking me awake, I awoke and opened my eyes wide looking at her. "come on Ellie we need to go somewhere" she ushered me out of bed and got me some clothes, a white floral tshirt and a pleated black skirt with tights of course because it was early March and only just warming up. I cautiously walked down the stairs hanging on to the bannister to make sure I didn't fall, I wasn't yet that confident with stairs.
When I eventually got to the bottom step I sat down and held up my arms as if I was saying "pick me up" mummy came over and picked me up.
"Come on you need to eat this porridge so you can grow a big girl" mummy crooned, propelling the spoon towards my mouth, I obidiantly opened my mouth devouring the bowl in less than 10 minutes.

Mummy took me down another flight of stairs (we live in a three story house) and got me some white patent shoes out a drawer, she handed them to me and I struggled to put them on wanting to impress her and failing massively putting the shoes on the wrong feet back to front.
"Come here you silly girl" she chuckled and picked me up doing my shoes properly. She then got me a black puffy jacket lined with fur down and told me to put it on then she zipped it up.

We stepped out into the mild English weather, me holding on to mummy's hand for stability. She pressed a button on her key and the black Mercedes clicked open, she opened my door and clipped me into my car seat giving me a toy to entertain me. She then climbed into the drivers seat and started driving, I don't know where but I liked watching the scenery move, I did this for about 10 minutes before falling into a deep sleep.

Mummy tried to gently lift me from the car and not wake me but my eyelids fluttered open, to see who it was then fluttered shut again letting her carry me into a happy looking brick building.

She left me with somebody called a receptionist who lay me down to sleep and went into this room.
A while later, after countless games of peekaboo with this slighting over enthusiastic receptionist mummy emerged looking happy clutching a document, I looked over at her in confusion and she said "me and daddy are getting a divorce"

I had no clue what she meant but I soon found out when I grew a bit older...