I heard the sound of footsteps approaching as I awoke, I looked around and saw that I was in a cage. 'Help! Who's there?'. A small, goblin-esque creature wearing a Union Jack hoodie came into my sight. 'Ello'! Ay've bin waching youse fer a while now, y/n'.
I could smell the vinegar on his breath, probably from his lunch of fish and chips.
'What do you mean? Who are you?' I cried out, 'Please let me go, I won't tell anybody I swear!'. He raised a bushy eyebrow and I could see him beginning to smile, showing his pointed yellow teeth. ' Ay yer a cheeky bugger, ain'tcha luv? Thinking youse could convince aul Ben to let'cha leave' He began to laugh, a deep, fear-invoking sound, similar to the mating call of a red deer. I could feel my skin tingle in anxiousness and I reactively reached for the pop-it in my pocket, but alas my wrists were handcuffed.
As I further looked around the room in which my cage was situated, I could see that I was in a stately room, with luscious red wallpaper and gold accents. I could see several portraits in the wall, some I recognised such as Margaret Thatcher and Oliver Cromwell. For a glorious moments I forgot about the monstrous creature keeping me in captivity, until it spoke...'Oi, youse havin' a wee looksy at the portraits on the wall, well dat's me aul friend Maggie, we had some gobsmacking times together' He began to tell me about how he and 'Maggie' used to spend every Thursday evening throwing eggs at the working class but I zoned out, millions of thoughts ran through my head, who could this person be? why me? what's my purpose here? does anybody know I'm here?
'Aye, so you don't wan'ta have a chinwag wiff me, suit yerself' the 'Ben' said in a childish tone. I panicked , fearing he wouldn't give me answers if I upset him 'Wait! Please, I'm sorry, but why am I here? Please I have a family and I need to get home' He smirked like a cheeky bugger, 'Oh y/n, you have a very special purpose here......I have been watching you and picked you out specially, you will understand soon, and concerning your mother....well she was in some financial trouble, her NFT collection has been hacked and she lost everything' I could see a brief spark of sympathy appear on his weather-beaten face. Dread filled my entire body, I could anticipate his next words.... 'And she sold me to you, you were actually quite a steal , only a fiver ahahahaha' He winked at me and I felt like throwing up. My own mother, my birth-giver, the woman who raised me had sold me to Ben... and for only five pounds.I felt like I was going to be sick.
I needed to be strong and survive, I have to manipulate this creature, the 'Ben, my very own Goliath and escape whatever building I have been trapped in. The word 'girlboss' played over and over in my head as I psyched myself up for whatever happens next. I need to get information out of the 'Ben' 'Where am I, please sir? He looked happy at my politeness 'Well, yer in the greatest building in the world, number 10 Downing Street' he declared with a jovial hop. I couldn't believe it! The Prime minister's residence? It would explain the portraits on the walls, a disturbing thought crossed my mind 'Is Ben a Tory?', I pushed the thought away and decided to further investigate.'What? Do you work for the prime minister? Why would he need me?'
He looked at me with evil-knowing in his beady rat eyes, 'Oi, luvvy, let me show youse somefin wickedly cool'.Ben ran over to a desk that was on the other side of the room and took out a box, he strolled over to me. Ben opened the box, took out a flesh coloured object and turned around and put it on over his head. I waited with bated breath, and suddenly when Ben turned around again to face me it was no longer the creature who I had come to know as Ben, it was Boris Johnson!
Shocking realisation struck me, Ben is Boris Johnson! Boris Johnson is Ben? Either way, they are the same entity. 'Oh, you look positively shaken, fancy a cuppa?' He now spoke in a posh accent, afflictions of superiority covering every vowel that came out of Ben's....Boris's? It's mouth. It opened up my handcuffs and let me out of the cage, for a moment the thought of escape fleeted through my mind, alas I realised the creature would easily overpower me and anybody else working in the building would easily stop me.
'I-I-I don't understand' I mumbled with fear in my eyes. He grabbed my chin gently, 'Of course you don't for you are a mere peasant and I am a God, I am everything and I am nothing' He began to pet my hair as I shook in fear 'You will die and rot and I will live as I always have, I am the hand that stirs the pot, I am the eye that watches, I am the whisper that travels through the trees, I am Ben'. 'Why am I here, please just let me go?' I began to sob violently. 'How am I of any use to you, I haven't hurt anybody, I'm not special, why could you possibly want me?' He smirked and a chilling sensation ran down my spine, 'Oh, but there is something special about you y/n.....you're a girlboss and I need your essence' I felt a wet sensation on my foot as I realised Ben?....that must be the creature's preferred name had begun to put it's mouth on my bare foot. Before I could stop the creature, I was being swallowed. My life flashed before my eyes, my family, my friends, my most cherished memories....soon I fell into the deep abyss of the Ben, his slurping sounds being the very last thing I hear, is this the destiny of a girlboss?
