I like you

Chapter 43

Avery POV

3 weeks later

I've cried throughout these past weeks mainly because of Pavol. He left,  I know it wasn't out of his own volition but still without him being by my side I don't have anyone. It feels like I've restarted and gone back to square one. I'm the same social pariah I was back in Canada. For so long I've been relying on Pavols presence next to me that I've forgotten what it feels like to be alone.  I hate it. 

Even though I've quite literally been crying myself to sleep missing him I still do receive letters from him every now and then. 

Dear Avery,

My love, I miss you so much it is killing me. Please know that I did not have any choice in leaving you and if I could I would be here in a heartbeat however my parents have decided my fate. I'm sure you've already heard the news from my parents that I've been sent away to a different school. I am in Le Harve for the rest of the school year. I believe that my fight with Miguel was the last straw for my parents to phone up my uncle and send me to his place. Now I will be attending an all-boys catholic school studying the great bible and learning how to be a proper gentleman until the end of the year. I feel like this place is sucking out my soul. It's so drab and we have to wear these sullen uniforms. Although we are apart my love remember you are always on my mind and in my heart. I cannot wait to return so we can once again recoup and embrace each other. I am still longing for your touch and miss your beauty so much so that I find myself dreaming about you. 

P.S  I have a special birthday gift for you when I return.

Love,

Pavol.

Tears begin dropping onto the letter as I hold it against my chest. I grab my knees towards my chest as I lay in a fetal position on my bed. I've read over the letter too many times to count but the attempt to take his words and make them somehow tangible is a cry of desperation. 

"Pavol I miss you." I sob through tear-filled croaks. It's not fair.  

I cry until my tears dry up and the hiccups stop my moans of sadness. Eventually, a wave of tiredness hits me and everything goes black.

***

"So how you holding up without lover boy." I roll my eyes as I talk to my sister over facetime. I haven't realized it's been a while since we spoke and I need to update her about what's going on.

"Oh he's good he's just sending my letters and stuff," I say grinning to myself about the previous somewhat erotic letter he wrote me recently. I swear I was blushing so much I might have fainted from embarrassment right there.

"Wait so there's no wifi where he is?" She questioning pushing the phone camera up to her face.

"Ugh no, there is but he has limited access. His uncle is really old school and he thinks computers and phones rot peoples brains so Pavol can only do is his homeowner, read and I quote " 'Watch soccer or the news on a really old television.'"

"Wow." My sister says with a nonplus expression. 

"Well, to each their own I guess." She mumbles quietly. 

"Avery." I turn to my door as my mom calls me from downstairs.

"Oh, it's mom, look I'll just call back later," I say quickly.

"Okay bye."

I leave my phone on the bed and walk down the stairs only to stop in my tracks.

"Miguel," I say surprised. He just gives me a shy grin and shoves his hands in his coat pocket.

"Hey, I uh, was in the neighbourhood and decided to say hi." He says looking between me and my mom.

"Well thank you for stopping by Miguel, would you like anything to eat or drink." My mom says with a kind smile.

"Oh, uh no actually...I actually wanted to ask if you wanted to go on a walk with me, if you not busy that is." I look at my mom then at Miguel. Well, this is very awkward and embarrassing. 

"Avery the weather's nice today plus you've been cooped up in this house too long go." My mom says pushing me towards the door. 

"ok," I say lightly before sliding on my jacket and shoes and leaving the warmth of my house. The moment I step out the sun meets my eyes causing me to squint. Wow, guess staying cooped up in my darkroom all day isn't so good for your vision. 

We both silently walk down the street him with his hands in his pockets and mine swinging back and forth. I try to think of something to say but the moment just feels tense and weird kinda like when you meet someone new. Eventually, he lets out a loud sigh and lightly bumps me in the shoulder before turning to look at me.

"Avery I'm sorry." He says lowering his gaze to the sidewalk.

"It wasn't cool how I disappeared on you during school once Pavol left." I bite my lip trying to hold back a reply. I didn't want to admit it but it kinda hurt that he started to ignore me once Pavol left. Besides Pavol Miguel was really my only other friend but once he stopped talking to me it felt like I must have done something to make him hate me.

"Listen, Avery, I'm really sorry, I just didn't know how to approach you after Pavol left and with me coming back to school and all after the whole Xavier thing I was just feeling out of tune if you understand what I mean." He stops walking and turns to me.

"I didn't want to make you feel like I was angry at you or anything because I'm not. In fact, everything that happened has to do more with me than you so... I don't know I just want you to know that we're still on good terms." Before I can speak he pulls me in for a hug. I nearly start to cry mainly in relief that I haven't ruined our friendship.

"Miguel, thankyou. I-I just want to thank you for being a friend. I mean I know I'm not the best in social settings and really struggle to make conversation, but you make it easy and I really appreciate that." I say wholeheartedly. 

Once he pulls away the tension from before has melted away and I feel like things are looking up from here.

He simply smiles and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Hey this is random, but I really want some hot chocolate." I perk up once I think of the delicious hot chocolate at the cafe near the bookstore.

"Oh my god, I haven't had chocolat chaud in forever, le café éternel has amazing drinks!"

"Yes, I love that place! shall we go?" He says grinning from ear to ear.

"Absolutely."

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