Uncommon

1

My feet carried me to the bed as I stood above her and stared. I did not move a muscle for a couple of minutes. Then I grabbed her neck with my hands and pressed as hard as I could. She opened her eyes and tried to pull me off. Her eyes stared right at what she created.

Dark clouds covered the bright sky, except for a small section. Bright blue contrasted against the depressing colors before it was gone. Birds chirped across as they flew away to a safe haven. Finally after a couple of hours, rain slowly splattered on anything it came into contact with.

I sighed heavily and ran my fingers across my hair. Students began to run around, trying to save themselves from getting wet. Freshmen immaturely danced in the rain and opened their mouths to collect the liquid. I reached in my pocket to try and find my car keys and triumphantly found them.

"I still can't believe your mom got you your own car." Louis covered his head with his books. The rain came down harder.

"She doesn't want me to walk anymore. Especially alone."

"Can we speed the walk? I don't want to get too wet."

I looked up at the sky momentarily before beginning to walk faster. Once I was in range, I began to walk even faster to unlock the doors and sat in. Some drops of rain that had previously fallen on us collected onto the seats.

"Do you want to come over and study?" I asked.

"Nah I got the chick to care for. When she comes to school all three of us could."

I shoved the keys in the ignition and started the car, "Don't fall for her."

"I won't."

The drive was pretty silent. Soft music played in the background and the hard collision of water served as our speech. When we got to Louis house, I spent no extra time there. I got out as fast as I could and drove back home.

"I'm back!" I spoke loudly.

"Your father came for a visit."

"Did he leave yet?"

"Yes. He just heard about you on the news and wanted to make sure you were alright."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance, "He left without even seeing me so what does it matter to him?"

"That is what I was wondering." she stood, "Do you want me to make you anything?"

"No thanks mom, I am fine."

"Okay, just tell me if you change your mind."

"Yes mom. I'll be in my room studying." I did not wait for her to say anything as I trudged up the stairs.

I made sure to close the door when I got in my room and set down my backpack. Instead of studying, I pulled out my brown worn out leather journal and an ink pen. The seat at my desk was cold when I sat down but I knew it would be warmer with time so I did not mind. Opening the journal, a waft of a cigarette smell greeted me.

April 16, 1959. S

Jade should be coming out of the hospital today. I knew if I went back to that room I would loose control again so I sent Louis to visit the vacant room for me. He was confused as to why he wanted me to visit a room with no one in it but he went anyway. I think he is starting to become terrified of me; I can see it in his eyes sometimes. Who cares though, he deserves it.

April 17, 1959. S

Detective Cody called my mom because he wanted me back at the station for Jades case. I hesitantly went, of course. He did not suspect anything of me or my lies however.

April 18, 1959. M

I started school again. Lots of students and teachers gave me their pathetic sympathy that I did not want. During the day I was mostly gazing out. Lots of things just appeared in my mind-Jade being one. I want her back. I need her back.

April 19, 1959. T

Dark hair was pulled up into a ponytail. There she was, off on the tree line a distance away from the school entrance. My heart was breaking and I could not cry in front of all these teens. Some of them were afraid of me so I could not show them how weak I was. When I stormed to my car, she turned away and disappeared.

April 20, 1959. W

I lied to my mom and said I would stay after school for the rest of the week for tutoring. If she knew I was going to go smoke I would be in trouble. It's not like it was bad, she just did not want me becoming addicted. So today I went into the treeline Jade appeared at yesterday and smoked a couple cigarettes. The smell collected onto my journal.

April 21, 1959. T

There she was again. As I sat on the grass floor and looking at the treetops, there was rustling. When I looked around, Jade stood a long ways from me. Something inside me ignited. It was unbelievable; the feeling was shocking and different. My body heated up and my mind became goop, the heat melting it away. Jade was something that caused me to feel like fire. Then that was it- I was fire. I am Fire.

April 22, 1959. F

There was a gathering being held at Eva's home tonight and as much as I wanted to go, I was not. Louis told me it was perfectly fine, but I knew if I went it would have ended differently.

April 25, 1959. M

Another Monday strikes the day. Like-

"Ugh stop it!" I gripped my hair. Rereading my old entries was causing my heart to feel empty and hurt. I brought the pen to the page and stopped. Carefully, I curled my letters against the aging pages.

April 28, 1959. T

I did not know what to write about today. If I would have known better I would use a pencil so I could erase the date. But I knew I used an ink pen for a reason, so I could not erase anything. That's when I knew what I was going to write about.

You use your mind to make your decisions, and your heart to decipher if it is worthy enough to bring into action. Once you do, it can't be erased. It is just like you used ink to write out how your junior high crush made you feel on a crumpled up piece of paper. Thoughtlessly. I know that I can never erase the beauty of every mark I created. Nothing can be eliminated, not even when you erase your penicil marks. The ghost of what was previously written will haunt through the air. Not even your memory can be wiped off the planet. Something will always contain your secrets in a jar. So writing in ink will save me the hassle of anything reversible; I will always know what I thought.

I took in a shaky breath. There was so much more I wanted to write so I could express my feelings. Rant or just to remember, but I could not go on because if I did I wouldnt be able to stop. I would hate myself after it.

After a while of just staring at the page beneath me, tears started falling. Being without someone who understood me hurt. Especially since I could not have Jade. She was the only one who understood.

Wiping the tears away, I shut the journal and locked it in my drawer. No one could find out what secrets were hidden in my mind if they could not read my journal.