✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

60. Heading Home

When Tess looked down at her phone, she saw that Ffrances had sent her a text message five minutes before. She probably hadn't felt the vibration while she was still getting changed; or maybe she'd just ignored it because all of her friends used Clatter or XV, and the only texts she usually got were some kind of marketing. In any case, she quickly checked what it was and saw that Ffrances would be waiting for her on a little bit of waste ground adjacent to the hospital. She'd included an image too; a map of the hospital with a wobbly line drawn on indicating the path from one of the wards to the appropriate gate. It seemed Ffrances knew that Spike's brother was a patient, and had looked up where he was going to be.

Tess felt guilty again. She should have gone with Spike to visit Nik. She wanted to consider herself a friend of the family; or at least the part of the family that wasn't drunk, high, narcissistic, or all three. But she couldn't go back there now, not after she had run away. That would have made it even harder to explain where she had gone; and she still didn't have any ideas what she was going to say. She had a lot of thoughts about what she could do or say, but she couldn't come up with anything that actually made sense. In the end she tapped out a single line message saying she was sorry, and would explain later.

She was surprised to find that she meant it. It was the most humiliating thing possible, but she didn't want to have secrets from Spike. Even this one. It would be a long time before she could bring herself to tell him the whole story, but she knew that she wanted to find a way to be honest with him eventually.

Before long, Tess found the appropriate gate. It was where they had come in when visiting Spike a couple of weeks before, but she was sure that without the map she wouldn't have been able to find it again. Beyond the gate was a little area with scrubby brown grass underfoot, broken by many irregular furrows and tree roots. She started walking across the space to the far side, but then saw that Ffrances was standing off to one side, waving to her. She turned and headed in that direction, and found the car between the trees, just at the side of the main road.

"I got Gabby's message when I was pulling out of Clemont Avenue," Ffrances explained. "I figures it would be easier all around if I pick you up, so I turned off the main road here. It's not supposed to be a parking space, but the police don't care if you pull in to pick somebody up. Saves going right round the perimeter, anyhow."

"Thanks. I was just coming down with Spike. We had a lot to talk about."

"I heard. He brought his brother in this morning. That's a boy who really has his head screwed on. I hope the kid's recovering."

Tess glanced down, and realised in a second that she didn't want to meet Ffrances's eyes. She should have gone in with Spike. She'd met Nik before, and he seemed like a decent kid; another friendly face would have been good for him. But she had run away, and she couldn't admit that right now.

"Anyway, we should be getting home. I think Gabby will have dinner ready by now, and after today.."

"Yeah," Tess nodded, and climbed into the passenger side of the car. They drove off, and were on the main road back to Palmerston before Ffrances spoke again.

"So, Gabby said you had something you wanted to ask me."

"Yeah," Tess nodded. "I was wondering... about the hypnosis thing. If you could..."

"You want to make it stronger?" Ffrances asked. "Gabby said it might have not worked last night. But if that's the case, it's not so easy to change. First you'd have to work out why it's having problems. Like is there some physical or psychological–"

"No, no," Tess interrupted. "Sorry, but... it's not that. I just wanted..."

Then she took a deep breath and hesitated. Would Gabby notice that she'd changed back into her school skirt when she got home? Would either of them see the lack of socks? If she mentioned daytime wetting now, it would almost be like confessing what had happened to her, and she didn't think she could bring herself to do that.

"I was wondering if it could work a little differently," she said. "Just in the... I guess you'd call it logistics? How you trigger me? There was a change I wanted to make, but I'm not sure. I think I'm still too embarrassed to mention what it is."

"That's okay. You know what will work for you better than I do. And don't worry, the details are always flexible. If you can describe what you want, unless I can see some health consequences with it, I would be happy to help you. Just let me know when you're ready."

"Thank you."

Tess didn't know what else to say, and they rode in silence for what seemed like several minutes. It had been a hard thing to ask for, and now she felt like the world was waiting for her to raise the subject again.

"Did you have a good day? I hope Spike enjoyed his birthday, aside from the problems with his brother."

"It's not actually his birthday," Tess answered, even though that wasn't the question. "Not until Wednesday. But it was the best time for everyone to get together. A lot of people are doing things next week."

"Still–"

"Actually... I'm supposed to be seeing him again Tuesday night. There were a few things we wanted to see tonight, but nobody except me and Chloe had seen Tags. But Spike asked me to go with him to catch one of the others. Is that okay?"

"Would it be easier if I tell Gabby? We should probably let her know if she doesn't need to prepare dinner for you, but I understand you're nervous talking to her about things that involve Spike. Is it just the two of you this time?"

"No!" Tess blurted out, and then wondered why she had been so nervous. She knew Ffrances wouldn't worry, even if she told the whole story. But as soon as she tried to explain, more words came tumbling out. She said rather defensively that it wasn't a date, and that Evan and Kim would be there too. And somehow she ended up telling Ffrances all about letting Mindy think the opposite, and the things Mindy had said about Chloe and Rachel, as well as about fans of the movie, and her general obnoxious behaviour. It felt like she just kept on talking, always having one more thing to say. And just as she was about to ask if Ffrances knew about a Shaaark! movie, she felt the car stop and glanced outside the window. They were home.

"I need to get changed," Tess blurted out quickly, as they walked towards the house. "Can you make sure Gabby's not mad at me for taking so long? And once you've eaten... remind me to ask you about this French movie." She saw Ffrances nod, and then dashed into the house and straight upstairs, before Gabby could comment on her wearing her school skirt again, or anything else that could hint the evening had gone so differently from what she had expected.